Bend It
by Carkins Bug
Summary: The thoughts of a patient man in the most chaotic of lives. Mature rating for language and themes of an adult nature. Chakotay/Janeway
1. Chapter 1

**_Authors Notes:_**

 _Tis I, back from the dusty realms of real life to bring you questionable fan fiction._

 _Still trying to get back into the swing of this, slowly but surely, I should be able to grow my offerings once more, most have disappeared into pixelated nothingness after over a decade of being entirely too busy, I thought it was time to start writing once more and continue the path I lose all those years ago._

 _In short, shit happened, most of my stories were deleted from all my accounts of various fan fiction and I'm writing again._

 _Some of it will be updated versions of ones posted from back in the day, more will be new and fresh stories, just give me some time to get used to this all again and balance my real life with writing._

 _I will respond to reviews etc, but don't be offended if it takes a while, a lot of my time is spent being rather unwell so what have patience with updates etc._

 _This story grew out of a conversation about how disorientating it must be to be suddenly yanked out of your own time and to time travel._

 _From the POV of Chakotay and his thought process, written as non-sequitor and confusing as real thoughts are._

 _Spoilers for the complete series and for the novels that are canon to the series both during and after._

 _I apologise for spelling mistakes and my ultimately terrible use of grammar, sadly the writing hasn't improved much in the time that's passed._

 _Chakotay always struck me as being extremely funny in a very subtle way, some of the things he came out with were genius but never really highlighted in the show, he's quite deadpanned and sarcastic so I went with it and then took it out to dinner and over-embellished somewhat._

 _Adult ratings for some suggestive sentences, fairly frequent profanity, absurd characterisations and constant use of the word fuck in all it's many forms._

 _Hopefully someone will enjoy._

 _Peace and love and thanks to anyone who makes it through my nonsense._

Disclaimer: Definitely not my characters, definitely not my show, definitely hoping no one sues. Am very poor unless you accept jammy-dodger biscuits, in which case I'm minted. Characters etc belong to people far more powerful than I. Go watch the show, enjoy it, it's awesome.

 _ **Bend It**_

As lectures go, this has to officially be the worst the Doctor has ever inflicted on us.

I have literally no idea what he's talking about. I thought it was supposed to be on the reproduction system of an Ocampan but he's been talking about Talaxian fungal infections for at least twenty minutes and the actual only Talaxian in attendance, Neelix, fell asleep about ten of those agonising minutes ago.

This goes beyond the call of duty, surely.

Am I really expected to sit here and endure years, decades in fact, of the Doctor's love affair with his own voice?

I could be out of the airlock before anyone would even detect it's been activated.

Tuvok is trying so stoically to exude his attention to the Doctor's every word but I can see that far away look in his eyes behind the collected calm of his pointed fingered concentration, he's meditating the cheeky git.

Only he would be able to get away with it, I only know because the Captain told me about it years ago after one particularly dull staff meeting, everyone else had gotten up and gone back to work and Tuvok was still sitting there at the table, in the exact same position he'd been in throughout the meeting. At first I thought he'd turned into some sort of logical statue but Kathryn had laughed and admitted when things get boring for Tuvok, he zones out and meditates, his concentrated stance betraying little of the fact he was paying no attention whatsoever.

I suppose being neutral constantly has its advantages, no one can tell if you're listening or not.

Harry's not even trying to hide the fact that the lights are on but no one's home, his glazed over appearance matches Paris almost identically, both of them staring, slack jawed into oblivion.

B'Elanna has been thumbing a padd, Wildman's trying to look interested, Seven didn't even attempt to stay, having brazenly risen five minutes into the lecture and stalked out the room with out any hesitation or apology whatsoever but best of all is Ayala.

He's sitting next to the Captain, making no attempt whatsoever to cover how bored he is and consequently roughly every two minutes or so, he yawns with such gusto, that Kathryn is then drawn into joining in the yawn uncontrollably, back and forth they go.

And they're both going about it so differently, neither have realised they've started a yawning-tennis match bouncing back and forth between them. Mike yawning, his jaw practically unhinging looking around the room for anything to focus on that isn't the Doctor, whilst Kathryn is trying to stifle hers by covering her mouth with the back of her hand in hopes she doesn't offend the EMH's fragile ego.

You'd think the Doctor would take the hint with the sea of bored faces staring back at him but he's in full swing, literally, either he's now talking about golf swings or he's punctuating the points he's trying to make by swinging his arms wildly around.

When he's like this, there's no stopping him short of deactivating him.

And while the want is there and so are the willing, Kathryn would be forced to then endure his whinging letters and lists of demands for reparations for the damage caused by the crew's constant rudeness towards him.

So I'm fighting the urge the best I can but I'm also seriously considering sending a message to the current bridge crew on my padd, to declare a red alert.

"And in all honestly, isn't this the best kind of guest to have? The fungi…" The Doctor is waiting for laughter that is never coming.

Decision made.

Just as I'm starting to covertly type an SOS to the bridge, I start to feel the familiar warming tingle of a transport.  
Which is very odd indeed.

We're in large stretch of uninhabited space; nothing has been on long-range scans for days, so where the hell am I going? 

And suddenly I'm in the bridge of a ship I've never seen before.

And a little round man is going absolutely bat shit crazy at me.

"What is it with you damn Voyager people?! I mean honestly, can't you find some kind of hobby that isn't playing with space time its self?! You just can't leave well alone can you!?"

What did you do Kathryn?

I know this has something to do with you.

"Never in all my many, many, many, years, I have never come across the same group of people as many bloody times as you bloody people!"

What I'm guessing is his crew looks completely unfazed by this lunatic.

"And do you ever listen when I tell you to stop all this madness? Of course bloody not! It's Janeway! It's always bloody Janeway! Don't get me started on bloody Janeway!"

Aha, there it is.  
Reliable Kathryn, you could piss off the Gods.

I think maybe you have.

"How about you busy yourselves with just getting home in one piece eh!? Stop investigating every bloody little thing and just go quietly home"

My mouth starts to form a response that if we could, we would, but I think better of it.

He's gone very red in the face, his eyes are starting to bulge.

"And if that Borg woman ever steps foot on this ship again, I will turn her into a hat stand my bloody self!"

Is anyone going to give me more of a clue here, something that makes some sort of actual sense? You did just kidnap me after all, but the little man's ranting so much I can barely edge a word in, so remaining quiet seems the only option for the moment, hopefully ride out the crazy train and hope it lands me at a station where someone has the grace to tell me just what is happening right now.

"And the Talaxian, dear gods the Talaxian! It was like trying to get a puppy to perform brain surgery, seventy-two temporal incursions he caused, seventy-bloody-two! One of the time lines he spawned resulted in a bloody great big lizard, the likes of which haven't been seen since the fecking dinosaurs!…"

What now?

"…It ate the entire eco-system of an M Class Planet! No humanoid, animal or plant was safe! It's like you all are up for some non-existent award for most achievements fucking with the laws of nature! "

He has a fair point.

"Who the hell do you think you all are? You're a bunch of twats with a spaceship is what you are, who lord it round the universe like some bloody monkeys with a typewriter, occasionally hitting the right bloody key!" He's reaching a pitch I've rarely heard in nature.

I'm completely lost now.

"I'm done, Kenneth I'm going for something medicinal, I can't take this!"

And with that, he's gone.

What the actual fuck is happening right now?

And then there's another person in front of me and I feel myself taking a step back and bracing myself for another mysterious onslaught of… whatever that was.

"Commander Chakotay, I know you're probably confused right now"

"Understatement"

"He's been under a lot of… stress lately… which is where you come in"

Oh I'm not going to like this am I?

"We've been trying to unravel strings that have tangled together so to speak…"  
And he starts to explain to me what he's apparently explained to me countless times before, with countless other Chakotays.

My own mind is unravelling.

I see why Kathryn gets headaches.

From what he's saying, I gather they've tried this more than once, with more than just me but have so far failed. But they're confident I'll get it this time.

I don't even know what this is, so I fucking doubt it.


	2. Bend It Chapter Two

Disclaimer: Definitely not my characters, definitely not my show, definitely hoping no one sues. Am very poor unless you accept jammy-dodger biscuits, in which case I'm minted. Characters etc belong to people far more powerful than I. Go watch the show, enjoy it, it's awesome.

* * *

I was right. I don't think I can do this.

I'm aboard the 29th century Federation time-ship Relativity.

That is enough to make me wish I was back listening to Talaxian fungus.

Playing with time is not something I wish to take part in.

No one does. Because it is completely and thoroughly impossible to understand.

There's just no way to make any of it make sense and that's enough for me to not want to get involved, I know better than to be fiddling with the unknown and there is always an unshakable feeling that I've undoubtedly already messed around with time, I have no idea how or even why, but it's inevitable for us all really in our line of work here in… well I have no idea where the ship is right now, but there's a familiarity to time travel that doesn't sit well with me, because I know somehow I've strayed here too often before.

Kathryn most certainly has.

And she's made her mark apparently, because the angry little man from earlier is still fuming across the bridge with a hip flask attached to his clenched hand.

She does tend to have a lasting effect on people.

I'm here because apparently we're about to cross into a region of space that will spell some sort of far reaching doom and gloom.

There is no concrete information as to the whats, wheres, and whys, just a simple do no enter.

We are to go the long way round and we're to do so with as little fuss as possible, making sure we never cross into the region they've mapped onto my padd.

We're to go somewhere, to avoid something.

Marvellous.

They've attempted to stop whatever the result of Voyager crossing into the region is, multiple times at multiple points in time and have so far been unsuccessful stopping whatever happens, happen.

Whatever it is, it must be big to have a 29th century Federation poking their nose into it, a visit from Relativity isn't something to take lightly and nor is messing with time.

Whatever it is must be messy and have a tidal wave of consequence for this big an operation.

But for it's seeming importance, I have no idea why they're involving me, Chakotay, crasher of shuttles.

They seem to know us pretty well by this point and surely, the amount of times we've failed so far is enough to say we are not responsible enough to deal with this?

Especially Neelix, I mean jeez… that just takes the biscuit really...

I've seen Kathryn have a punch-up with a prehensile plant, Seven channel a Farengi, Harry get every possible space STD he could and I once dated a giant stick insect, are these really the people you want saving the universe?

No wonder we failed so many times.

It sounds fairly simple, just not go on the grass and take the long route around, but it can't be that simple if we've not managed it thus far.

All I have to do is change the heading and all should be as right as rain.

I'm not sure I believe them, if Neelix managed to somehow unleash Godzilla by screwing up on his attempt, what the hell are we facing?

What's over in that region of space?

I'm too intrigued, far more than I should be, because it's making me want to go find out.

That's the problem with most things forbidden, it's the mystery that makes it that much more appealing.

Just like Kathryn.

Now where the hell did that come from?

Focus man, we've got a mission here to.. Do something.

Something important.

Or at least look like it.

Distract yourself now.

Look around or something.

The bridge is bustling with activity, but glancing around I'm disappointed that I understand very little of what I'm seeing.

The technology is too advanced, and I imagine a lot of it's intentionally coded to not be understood by anyone but the crew of Relativity.

Clever.

It's odd to think of how many people have step foot on that ship and have no idea that they ever did.

You don't always remember when you tinker with time, sometimes after a while the memories start to fade like a life you don't remember living and sometimes it stays in the part of your brain that only reminds you in your dreams.

Some remember everything with clarity, others tamper with the timeline in such a way to forget everything instantly and their life until that point never happened, but if it never happened how did they change the timeline, but they had to of in order to change the timeline but couldn't have if they changed the timeline because those things would never have happened…. And once again I'm losing myself in a endless loop that only paradoxes can deliver. It's the chicken and egg on a grander scheme and it makes even less sense when you try to seriously understand it.

To be or to not be, all of it makes no fucking sense.

Entirely frustrating.

The hardest part is sticking to the Temporal Prime Directive, not talking about or acting on what you do remember about altered timelines can be the worst thing to deal with after whatever you experience. I've never been good at lying or acting, and both are required in hefty amounts to get one over Kathryn Janeway's impeccable bullshit meter.

She always knows when there is mischief afoot.

Hopefully though just changing the heading for the sake of the temporal prime directive will be enough for Kathryn to make this an easy affair and not something spawning hell beasts.

I mean seriously, what the hell was Neelix up to? I can't stop thinking about it, what the hell do you have to do wrong to have it go that badly? I dread to think really…

But then again what did I do so badly the previous times that they're still going at this?

It can't be that hard to simply change the heading surely? If that's all it's going to take to avoid the situation now then what the hell is going on?

They can't tell me any details of my previous attempts and that makes it all the more intriguing still, but something about the way they said there were potentially fatal consequences in doing so tells me that I probably died recently. A number of times.

I hope Kathryn has a better understanding of this than I do, maybe she still remembers something from her own participation in this but then again I can't really ask her if we're going to strictly follow protocol on this and she can't really tell me either.

Kathryn has always placed faith in my arguments and decisions as I have for her, so I know she won't have issue with taking my word for the reason of changing the heading, but if it was that simple how have we apparently failed so many times and so badly that they still haven't sorted this mess, whatever this mess may be.

I hate time travel.

It's too complicated and too secretive.

Kathryn has had more experience bending the laws of nature than me, so thankfully she has more temporal secrets than me, I'm left with temporal whispers that make no sense.

Kenneth from earlier, the thankfully saner of the two who have spoken to me so far, is beckoning to me across the bridge to follow him to what I suspect will be further confusion.

* * *

The scary little man is Jean-Luc Picard's great, great, great grandson or something close to that, I lost track of the amount of greats involved after Picard was mentioned.

He's the current Captain of Relativity.

The way Kenneth said current was in a way that made me think I was supposed to know of the previous Captain, can't say I have any knowledge of any crew connected to Relativity at all, beyond what little they've told me.

They've left me sitting in his ready room for an hour now, a small bust of Jean-Luc sitting behind his desk, made out of marble like some sort of disembodied floating head. It's unnerving.

It's one of those statues that has those eyes that follow you around the room wherever you are, giving you a dead eyed cold stare from across the room. It's giving me the spooks to be honest and they've locked me out of their computer system for sake of the temporal prime directive so I'm just waiting until they decide to dump me back on to Voyager and the real fun begins.

On the upside, the tea I've been given to drink is almost divine.

I'm about to take a closer look at a ship in a bottle sitting on desk when the ready room doors open and in walks Captain Crazy and his first officer who is much nicer, Commander Kenneth Adams.

Captain Crazy is staying quiet, still red and puffed up like an angry bird with ruffled feathers.

"We've provided you with the required course change and all data pertaining to the corrections you need to make to Voyager's heading, please ensure this Padd does not come into anyone's possession between now and when we next make contact with you." He speaks softly but firmly, keeping steady eye contact as unwavering as Picard's floating head.

"Will I get some sort of heads up next time, or just kidnapped out of time again?"

"I apologise Commander, I know this all must be very disorientating" Adams speaks with an almost genuinely apologetic tone, he's had this conversation with me countless times I imagine, they must get the frustration of living the same day out continually until their job is completed, I cannot imagine the stress that goes with that.

Well it must be a lot considering Captain Crazy, I wouldn't deal with it either.

"Any advice?" It's worth a try, he might tell me something of use.

"I'd start with the coffee Commander." He smiles.

And with that I'm dissolving into particles and they're gone.

Wonderful.

And I'm back in my quarters aboard Voyager.

According to the computer, it's before the Doctor's lecture.  
Damn it.


	3. Bend It Chapter Three

Disclaimer: Definitely not my characters, definitely not my show, definitely hoping no one sues. Am very poor unless you accept jammy-dodger biscuits, in which case I'm minted. Characters etc belong to people far more powerful than I. Go watch the show, enjoy it, it's awesome.

* * *

Something is bothering me, if they've taken me back to this point in the timeline then where am I? I should be here already surely. So where is the other Chakotay? Have they taken him to another timeline to make way for me?

This shit is just too confusing.

But what's worse, I have to endure that lecture again.

The spirits are testing me today.

Having to sit through the Doctor's lecture again is on par with performing my own tooth extraction with nothing more than a Bat'leth.

I've read through my padd and seeing it in data form just makes it seem so ridiculous.

Why pervert time to make a simple course correction?

Why not go back in time entirely and stop the moment we were lost out here and completely negate all this bullshit?

But most of all, what's really bothering me, why me?

Why is it always me that's saddled with the weird or boring shit?

Do I get first contact with interesting species?

Do I get to battle robot queens or dabble with Q and his omnipotence?

Do I hell!

It's always the weird, boring shit that comes my way.

Freaking giant insects that either want to date or bite me or mind control, I've had more people in my head than in my bed and that alone is unnerving.

Or crashing shuttles, that's another one of my talents.

If only they knew half the time, I crashed them out of sheer boredom.

Why can't I just once, get something interesting to do?

Kathryn gets to save the universe a million times over and I get to change the heading.

Fucking brilliant.

The computer system is now gently reminding me that it's time to go to the lecture for the second time today, I firmly regret setting a reminder now.

At least I can use the time there to try and make some sense of all this before I speak to Kathryn, I can't just change course without letting her know why but I have no idea how to explain what just happened without breaking the temporal directive in any way that might fuck this up again.

My Padd tells me that we need to change the heading in about four hours and I'm to stick to their schedule if this is to work apparently, so I will indulge this game of theirs and think of how best to not put my foot in it.

For something so silly, it's seems amazing that this much effort is going into a course change.

Tucking the padd safely into my pocket, I wonder if there's still time to replicate some earplugs.

* * *

Sitting in the lecture really drives home what must have been a lot of time travelling going on with the crew.

The tiredness now makes even more sense, the room is practically unconscious by the time the lecture hits an hour's mark.

That's the thing most people don't get about time travel, if you have no idea that it's involved with your current self, you don't notice anything's off.

If you know, a hell of a lot of things make a lot more sense.

The reason you've woken up feeling like you've been hit by an asteroid or a sudden tiredness that overtakes you at some point during the day - That's a time travel "hangover". The unmistakable sign you've been up to something somewhere and some when else.

I've experienced it far too many times.

Most people have.

They just don't know what they've been up to in other timelines and that is disconcerting, not knowing what you've done but knowing you've done something cosmic, it's weird.

But weirder is knowing you've messed with time and having to live with the fact you lived a lifetime no one else knows about. Not to mention tiring.

I wonder how many of the crew remember what they've done for Relativity lately, or if their timelines were wiped completely by Relativity's actions.

Usually when the big guns show up for this kind of thing they tend not to leave too many foot prints so to speak, to narrow temporal directive shit flying in all directions, most people's timeline adventures are intentionally timed so that their lives are reset to a previous point by their actions, therefore they don't get to remember a life they never lived.

Some just have to shut up and hope for the best.

If I'm honest, I know Kathryn has been there before, on the Relativity.

The Temporal Prime Directive gets a bit foggy for Kathryn after a few whiskeys so I know only half-drunken fragments of what occurred with her own adventures.

She did once try to convince me she went back in time and slayed a dragon after one particularly merry evening in her quarters and I had blamed it on the whiskey but after hearing of Neelix's encounter with time travel, it could have been true.

In fact, that was only last week that she mentioned it so it probably was.

Well, shit.

Even Neelix gets to have more fun than I do and that's saying something.

Looking around the room, it's obvious the vast majority of the room has been recruited recently by the Relativity, all of them in a state of numbed fatigue.

No wonder Kathryn has looked particularly tired and cranky this week, ten minutes ago she got up, walked across the room behind the Doctor as he was talking about the hardiness of the Ocampan shoulder and back structure, replicated herself a coffee while scowling at the Doctor, before sitting back down without a word.

The look she gave him was of pure malice, the same one that scares Harry.

It's definitely ball shrinking and I've been on the receiving end of it myself more times than I care to remember.

She's not going to like this one bit.

It's going to aggravate the hell out of her, I know it.

She's too curious for her own good, she'll pick and prod until she's satisfied she knows everything.

And she'll be grumpy and tricksy until she gets her way.

I could do without all of this.

* * *

After twenty more agonising minutes of the Doctor's lecture, it was finally over.

The Doctor had seemed particularly pleased with himself for what he probably thought was an insightful and informative lecture.

When I left, both Neelix and Ayala were still fast asleep in their chairs.

Someone probably should have woken them up but everyone had practically run out of there the second it was obvious the Doctor had finished talking.

Kathryn had sprung from her chair and taken off like a whippet out of the doors, coffee apparently only sustains her will for so long, so it means I'm going to have to prod the bear in it's own cave.  
She's already tired and pissed off, this is just going to top her day off really.

But in less than two hours, we need to change the heading to avert some unknown doom so I need to give her the heads up on this.

Making my way to deck three, I resist the urge to dive into my own quarters away from this madness but instead bypass it and stop before Kathryn's quarters.

She's going to be so pissed.

What am I doing?

This better be worth it, I'm talking saving the universe worth it.

I press the chime and wait, my hands clasped before me, two fingers crossed in hope.

Please be kind.

The doors open to reveal what I can only described as possibly the most pissed off Captain since Crazy pants back on Relativity.

"This better be good Commander…"

Ahh shit, rank… she's definitely pissed.

"…and quick" She rubs absentmindedly at her brow where no doubt a headache lurks.

"Can I come in?"

The look says no, but she doesn't speak.

"Temporal Prime Directive" I offer.

Kathryn shoots me a look that speaks volumes of "you've got to be kidding" but remains silent, eventually stepping back and waving me in.

It's a phrase that generally grants most requests, something I have abused relentlessly throughout my life.

Where's my homework? Temporal Prime Directive, that's where it is.

Why am I late? Temporal Prime Directive.

Where have I been? Temporal Prime Directive.

Who was that? Temporal Prime Directive.

After a while though people start to think you're some sort of time lord if you keep it up for too long, but thankfully, it passes as believable here on the ship of the insane, so I step into Kathryn's quarters and brace myself.

As the doors close, she spins on her heels and looks at me impatiently.

"Out with it Commander"

"We need to change the heading at 2300hours precisely to a specific set of co-ordinates, we are not to stray from the heading, destination or schedule until we reach the co-ordinates until I am told otherwise by… the powers that be where this is concerned."

It spills out in one breath and Kathryn's eyes are rolling in confusion and frustration.

"Okay.. Dare I question further or.." I cut off her question with rapid head shaking of a no, whilst she buries her head into her hand in exasperation.

"So be it Commander, once again I hand my ship over to fate, try not blow anything up or crash into anything."

I wish she was joking.

"The bridge is yours until… well…" she bats at the air with a shrug and starts to manoeuvre me towards to the door "…just let me know when its.. Safe."

I nod and realise I've said very little as usual, it's good to not be known for speaking a lot, it makes these situations at lot easier.

"I'll be here if you need me, suppose it's an excuse to catch up on the stack of Padds that never seems to go away."

She's taking this better than I expected, to be honest I wasn't expecting her to completely hand command over and stay out the way till it was over, but it makes sense.

Maybe she does remember something and knows it's better if she sits this one out or she's just too tired to be involved, whatever the reason it'll make things a bit easier I suppose for me to do what's needed without too much distraction.

Kathryn is a phenomenal distraction without even trying, just knowing she's in the vicinity makes it hard to concentrate at times, she buzzes with a resonance I've never known before, one that makes you feel alive just to be near, or she'll catch me off guard just by tucking her hair behind her ear or smiling when I least… when…

This isn't the time for that right now, I'm continuing to let her distract me.

Damn woman.

"Take the time to rest Captain.." If I use rank too, she'll have no clue my thoughts are thinking of her as anything but Captain. "…You look like you could use some down time."

"If that's your subtle way of telling me I look like hell, then I suggest you high-tail it to the bridge before I change my mind and start poking my nose in your temporal business. You want a pissed off Janeway for the next 50 years, you're going the right way about it."

Point taken.

She did look tired and those big old panda like eyes lost in their dark circles did betray just how tired she must have felt, it probably wasn't the best idea to insinuate she wasn't looking her best.

"Do me one favour Chakotay, if you can somehow prevent the Doctor's lecture today from ever occurring, I know a lot of people who would be eternally grateful."

"Aye Captain"

"In fact, see if you can fiddle it so we were never here, I'll owe you one."

As the doors close behind me when I leave, I hear Kathryn audibly curse as she disappears from view.

Although I never thought I would hear her say it, I agree with her all the same.

We are indeed fucked.

* * *

So far all is going to schedule.

I've been on the bridge roughly four hours, we've plotted the course per Relativity's orders and all seems well.

Which is why I'm suspicious.

It can't be this easy, surely, they would have done this before if it was.

It just seems so ridiculous.

If all it took was this to change everything, then how did it take so long to figure out, why hasn't it worked before now and why can I still not stop thinking about what Neelix did to release a dragon?

What the hell?

I know I should stop thinking about it all, trying to over analyse, because I'm not going to figure it out in a month of Sundays with what little I do know of what has gone on.

I should just do what I'm told and be patient and hopefully this will all work out.

And of course, it might turn out that after 7 years the Doctor's program undergoes some sort of radical update that turns him into a mute female supermodel.

Nothing works out where Voyager is concerned.

I think Kathryn's bad luck rubbed off on us all.

So as far as I'm concerned, I have a right to paranoid that something bad is going to happen, because it always does.

The crew think we've just taken a detour to avoid an asteroid field that doesn't actually exist, so no one's particularly interested in what's going on, it's just business as usual.

So much so that I'm going to take the opportunity to get some sleep, it's a few hours before the Alpha shift and I'm going to have the bridge until this is over, so while the current shift keep up our current course, there's little to do but get some rest and hope nothing happens in the meantime.

Just in case, I decide the ready room's as good a place as any and I'm to hand if anything happens, leaving the bridge under strict instruction to wake me if anything at all comes up.

The couch in the Ready Room isn't the most comfortable place in the world but it'll do for now and I know Kathryn's done it on more than one occasion, even so as I settle in a Padd lost down between the couch's back and seat prods at me, followed by what looked like two marbles and a hair pin.

This couch is remarkably small, I'm having a hard time not rolling off the damn thing, which just makes me somewhat sad. Most of the fantasies I've played out in my mind feature the Ready Room quite prominently, to find out that most of the things I want to do on this couch probably isn't realistically possible is rather annoying. I'll settle for keeping the desk in mind next time thoughts of Kathryn drift across my mind.

Thoughts of giant lizards and Jean-Luc Picard flutter me along towards sleep.


	4. Bend It Chapter Four

Disclaimer: Definitely not my characters, definitely not my show, definitely hoping no one sues. Am very poor unless you accept jammy-dodger biscuits, in which case I'm minted. Characters etc belong to people far more powerful than I. Go watch the show, enjoy it, it's awesome.

* * *

The computer wakes me and for a moment I'm lost in that just waking second where you have no idea where or what is going on.  
Usually it's easier to grasp onto suddenly waking but being in Kathryn's Ready Room is off putting initially until thoughts of the previous day break through the sleepy haze.

Obviously nothing came up during my snooze, as no one woke me and no alerts or alarms have gone off except the one I set to wake myself.

The ready room is absolutely freezing, it always is for some reason, Kathryn obviously likes it cold in here, maybe it helps keep her alert or something, but I'm so chilled I'm almost shivering.

Next time I'm replicating a sleeping bag.

Hopefully there won't be a next time.

Or at least there won't be if this goes to Relativity's plan.

Stretching away the worst of the kinks the couch inflicted on me, I make my way to the replicator and order a tea.

Yawning, I look around the room, still adjusting to the waking world.

It's not until my eyes hit the view-port that my stomach drops into the deck.

And I'm suddenly more awake than I've ever been.

Because hanging there in the stars, right next to us, is apparently… us.

The tea is abandoned, my feet are running and the last thing I recognise is the sight of Voyager sitting in space out the window.

The bridge is just handing over to Alpha shift, but crew are at their stations, Tuvok is tapping away at his terminal, Harry's chatting to Tom across the bridge and no one seems to have caught on to the fact that there is another Voyager sat next to us right now.

"Report!"

My voice has apparently not woken up yet, because it breaks painfully as I attempt to shout in a panic, achieving only a squeaked interruption to the crew's morning.

All of them stop to look at me standing panicked, hair no doubt sticking up on end, a drool trail on my chin and the final stand of my morning wood dissipating with the notion that I'm not screwing Kathryn on her desk as my dream would have me believe but there is in fact another Voyager sitting outside that should not be there.

"All systems working normally Commander, nothing to report" It's Harry that dares to speak while the rest of them eye me suspiciously.

"Normally!? Are you picking up anything on scans?" Are you seriously telling me they've failed to see another Voyager right there next to us?

"Nothing Commander" Harry shakes his head as he speaks.

"Are you sure?" I'm still shouting, more out of incredulousness than anger, how have they failed to notice this is beyond me.

"Positive Commander, are you feeling well?" Now it's Tuvok who is speaking to me as though I have lost the plot entirely.

Making my way to the command console, I bark to bring up the view screen just as Tuvok starts to eye me with that look that says he's ready to nerve pinch me.

Tom and Harry are exchanging confused looks.

There's a glimmer of self doubt, maybe I was seeing things in my half awake state but I doubt it after what I'm currently tasked with.

The command console shows me there is absolutely nothing in the vicinity. We are in empty space, alone.

This cannot be right, something is not right here at all.

Silence falls as the crew start to think I've lost it completely.

Then there's a collective gasp across the bridge as a Voyager appears on the view screen.

"You're not picking this up at all?" I turn to the crew who stand looking both sheepish and shocked.

"I'm picking up nothing on the sensors at all Commander, I'm not picking anything up on long range scans either, according to the data, this region of space is empty." Harry is tapping furiously at his console with embarrassment, failing to notice a giant star ship is quite the faux pas.

"Commander for all intents and purposes that ship isn't there, we appear to be the only ones here." Tuvok speaks with an almost slight tremor of trepidation; he's just as baffled as the rest of us.

"Well unless someone's put a giant mirror in space, I'd say we're not alone"

Kathryn is going to be so pissed.

"Hail them."

It's the first thing I think of but its probably not the best idea I've ever had.

"I've tried on all frequencies, there's no response." Harry's face starts to redden as he speaks, he's flustered entirely.

"Are you reading any life signs?"

"Only ours commander"

I've already started to pace and I can feel a frantic terror claw at my stomach.

I'm sure this isn't what Relativity had planned.

In fact, I think this maybe what we were trying to avoid.

If I only knew what this is.

How can there be another Voyager, but not another Voyager?

Maybe it's some kind of screwed up space echo, I'm not sure that's even a thing but maybe it's some sort of reflective cloud or spatial phenomenon that I'm not aware of.

As scenarios start bouncing around my head about what could be going on, the comm system brings my next problem.

"Janeway to Chakotay"

The voice is low and dangerous.

"Go ahead Captain"

I brace myself.

"One small issue commander."

The voice is sarcastic.

"Would you mind explaining why I can currently see myself out the window?"

The voice is angry.

* * *

Kathryn apparently had discovered much the same way as me of the existence of the other ship, glancing out the view-port to see the unmistakable figure of herself staring back from a view port opposite. Hell of a "Good Morning" greeting for her.

An impromptu senior staff meeting is called and we all start the process of losing our minds together.

There is absolutely nothing that shows that ship is actually there or could even be there. It's not the first time we've encountered ourselves but they had been somewhat explainable eventually, this is something else, I feel it.

No scans, no sensor data, absolutely nothing that says it's an actual ship, it's just some sort of ghost out there but I'm unsure as to why we're being haunted.

The room has been a multitude of theories and estimates, everyone clambering over each other verbally to offer some sort of reasonable explanation to the non-existent ship but it's all just a bunch of guesswork, mathematical theorems and Borg nonsense so far.

The look of utter confusion on Tom's face as he attempts to follow the conversation is worth sitting here by itself. He looks like Tuvok just admitted to finger-banging his mother.

"So far we've detected absolutely nothing in regards to the second Voyager's appearance, no signs of a temporal anomaly, a tear in subspace or anything that could remotely resemble an explanation of how or what the other ship is doing here." Harry looks like the floor is going to open and swallow him up at any second as he speaks, he doesn't do well when he's not able to offer an explanation of the events, he feels as though he's not doing his job and is letting the Captain down, that or he just enjoys being teacher's pet and hates disappointing Kathryn with anything but perfection. He's turning into Seven.

"We've made numerous attempts to contact them but there has been no response to hails, I've tried transmitting on multiple frequencies, but according to the data there is nothing there to intercept any signals we transmit." Seven speaks with her usual unimpressed manner. She permanently speaks in a tone that says she has so much better things to be doing with her time that isn't sorting out the dramas of puny humans.

Kathryn has been rubbing the bridge of her nose, lost in a headache of epic proportions.

She absolutely detests anything that involves the word "temporal" and this is a personal hell for her. She's been pacing behind her usual seat in the conference room since we all arrived here and I've been on the end of the "Ball-shrinker" glare more than once.

"Well we know there's someone home we just need to figure out how to knock on the door" Kathryn tone is clipped and frustrated.

"Well Captain, if we can see them, they can see us, perhaps optical communication is a possibility" B'Elanna finally speaks for the first time and it's not a bad idea as usual, you can always count on her for a bit of levelheaded thinking.

"What, like smoke signals?" Count on Tom to take it back down a level. I transmit him my best-unimpressed face and shake my head.

"Not quite Tom, the grown ups are thinking more of lights.." B'Elanna delivers Tom a withering look and continues to speak "..Kind of like Morse code."

"Not a bad idea Lieutenant, get on it. Harry, Seven, can you both work with B'Elanna, Tuvok can you hold the fort on the bridge, I need to speak to Commander Chakotay - " Oh Shit

"- And Tom… Well try not to break anything, Dismissed" Tom still looks puzzled and everyone rises to leave and I want to cling to one of their legs and demand they stay because Kathryn is about to eat me for breakfast and not in the way I was hoping for.

The senior staff ambles out the door quietly and I wait for the unhinging of Kathryn's jaw before she gobbles me up.

She is still pacing and rubbing at her head.

"Chakotay, I understand there's some rules we have to play by here, but if you wouldn't mind kindly explaining just what the hell is going on, I won't have to hurt you." Not just her voice but her eyes also tell me that she is not joking.

"I wish I could tell you Captain-" Before I can continue she starts to advance like she's coming for my balls with her phaser and I feel myself shrink back into the chair like a frightened tortoise. "- But all I was told was to go to the co-ordinates and at what setting and that was it." I'm talking too much with my hands, just in case she strikes I'm ready to defend myself.

"Who told you?" She leans across the table low and angular, one hand on her hip, the other hand's fingers are fidgeting.

"I.. Ahhh…" The thought of another ear bashing from that insane man on Relativity is enough to cause me to stumble over my words. I cannot say a single thing here without letting a cat out of the bag that was due to remain captive.

"Just tell me, was it Braxton?" Her eyes are blazing as she asks, she is still drawing closer and I have no idea who she's talking about.

Wait, do I?

Braxton?

Oh lord.

Of course.

"No Kathryn, he wasn't on the ship." Damn it.

"What ship, Chakotay?" Kathryn's worked her way across to me so now the blazing eyes are inches from my own, burning through me with a fury I'm glad doesn't come out often. She's a slumbering Volcano that is starting to wake.

"You know I can't." I try and implore with her using my eyes, it usually works but not today.

"I'd say we're beyond the point of a temporal incursion here Commander, I saw myself today, the time lines pretty screwed already." And now it really hits home how we apparently hadn't set the time line right, we're really shit at this stuff. All I did was set a heading and follow Relativity's instructions and somehow still managed to stumble into the wrong side of all this.

"Relativity."

And the volcano erupts.

"OH COME ON! Relativity! You've got to be kidding me!?" They will definitely hear this on the bridge, her volume just increased to startling levels. "I knew it, I freaking knew it! Haven't they played with us enough lately…"

I start to zone out as I realise I'm now getting the other side of the insanity I faced earlier with Picard's grandson Captain Crazy.

"OOooo look at me, my great grandfather was a freaking legend!…" She's mocking him now, with the worst English accent I have ever heard, I'm trying not laugh it'll only encourage her.

"…Have a cup of tea and let me touch your boobs, because that's a fair trade if ever I heard it!"

What the hell happened?

"…Oooo I'm the Captain of a big, shiny Time Ship!… It makes up for the lack of anything thing else big where I'm concerned!"

Lock him and Kathryn in a room, the warp core would go into meltdown from it all.

She's now yelling and pacing and quite frankly cursing like a sailor, a few interesting descriptions of Captain Crazy cause me to wince and at one point she kicks a chair so hard it spins across the room and activates the automatic doors, revealing most of the bridge crew staring our way with open mouths. An unaware Kathryn was still ranting.

"…I tell you what it is Chakotay, it always comes down to the same thing, inadequacy, and penis envy can drive a man to be a prick let me tell you!"

I've managed to pull the chair away from the doors, allowing them to close before Kathryn realises, her back to me looking out the view-port as she throws her hands in the air to punctuate her many points, the last thing I see as the doors close is the crew still looking dumbfounded in our direction.

"And that man has the biggest case of penis envy I've ever known, slimy little creep!"

"Kathryn." I try to interrupt quietly.

"…Thinks he can put his hands on me, the egotistical lush!"

Oh Gods.

"He was lucky it was only a punch in the eye he received, his balls were next!"

Spirits above.

"Kathryn." I don't know why I'm still trying to interrupt she cannot hear me at all; she is triggered on a big scale. I start to make my way towards her.

"If he thinks he can keep on dumping us in the shit all the time, I'm going to personally ram his time ship straight up his -"

I cut her off by grabbing her face with both hands and saying her name again firmly.

She stops startled and looks at me with a fierce fury.

"I'm almost certain Tuvok has just heard you say both penis and balls, along with most of the bridge crew, you might want to tone it down somewhat, it's not the sort of thing a Vulcan is used to." Thankfully she laughs as I intended, it's usually the best way to diffuse her when she's raging.

I did consider kissing her for a moment, but I wanted to shock her into the present not give her a heart attack.

Well we're well and truly in it now because we're pretty much obliterated the temporal directive in just speaking, or ranting in Kathryn's case, so at least now we can work together to figure whatever all this about.

I'm still holding her face in my hands, gently brushing my thumbs against the skin near between her ears and cheeks.

What are you doing man?

"I guess we should both start from the beginning and go from there Commander"

The rank is enough to make me slowly drop my hands away before I can't stop myself.

We have to stop getting to these lines so often.

One day we'll cross and never be able to return to the other side.

Not that I want to be on the side that doesn't involve Kathryn.

Again, not the time old man, lets sort out one crisis at a time.

So we sit and begin to speak about our recent adventures with time and Relativity and the pieces start falling into place.

She was right when we spoke last night.

We are well and truly fucked.


	5. Bend It Chapter Five

Disclaimer: Definitely not my characters, definitely not my show, definitely hoping no one sues. Am very poor unless you accept jammy-dodger biscuits, in which case I'm minted. Characters etc belong to people far more powerful than I. Go watch the show, enjoy it, it's awesome.

* * *

At Kathryn's insistence, we spin Voyager 360 degrees and watch on the view screen as more than one Voyager comes into view.

Four other Voyagers in total and even more mysterious, one Val Jean.

My ship.

My head hurts probably just as much as Kathryn's at this point. I can't take all this.

Kathryn had explained that in her recent dalliance with time travel, she had been set the task of un-doing some of the temporal incursions caused by Neelix and other crewmembers in their own attempt to do Relativity's bidding.

All Kathryn had to do was basic avoid certain areas and certain situations that arose from them and she would put it right, but every time she was thwarted by unavoidable mishaps and had been unable to put everything back to normal.

Whatever Relativity was trying to prevent from happening, they had been successful but in doing so had caused a chain reaction of events that ranged from loss of life to apparently Neelix's giant lizard abomination, with even more disastrous results.

Whatever they were trying to avoid, was balanced out by the unfortunate luck that then befell everyone connected to the event.

Therefore, they had given up trying to put everything right by achieving their goal and had decided that it was in everyone's best interest that everything was in fact reset to a much further point before and try a new approach to avoiding the doom without causing so many repercussions.

And were still unsuccessful. The only way to avoid the doom results is bad times for all.

Apparently the universe really does hate us.

Kathryn knew that they were trying to avoid some sort of "incident" but had no idea how, when or where.  
Apparently this is what Relativity were trying to avoid, at least that's what we think, how could it not be?

We were supposed to avoid coming to this point in space, because it's also the point where all these other ships around us happened to be in their own universes and timelines and we all meet here at this point, where time is apparently more than a bit wobbly and we for this moment are all existing in this one area of space.

Too fucking weird.

And yet still not the weirdest thing we've come to experience.

Seven confirmed that she had eventually been able to detect temporal fluctuations around the space we're in, but that they were more than just that, they seemed to be fluctuating through almost tears which were completely un-scannable, they weren't just nothing in space, they were just nothing, there was no real space to speak of.

As though nothing existed beyond the tears.

She theorised they were like tears between parallel universes, where we were unable to observe into or beyond, we are only able to observe our own universe if we were in it and seeing as we can't observe anything, it's not a big leap to think that we possibly too have passed through a tear without knowing it and are not in our universe anymore.

What would cause this?

No idea.

It's a phenomenon that not even Seven is familiar with.

More than that though, there was no way of knowing if the other ships would be able to pass through these tears back to their own universes and there was no way of knowing which tear lead to which universe. So for now, it looks like until we figure that out, we're all stuck here in this point of time until things can be put right.

There's no indication these tears are stable or will collapse in on themselves, there is barely any data registering that we can understand.

Both myself and Kathryn, after much talking, debating and eventually all out arguing, come to conclusion that this is the catalyst for whatever Relativity is trying to avoid.

This is the moment we fuck everything up apparently.

I can believe that.

How we're going to put this all right is beyond me, without passing through a tear you've no idea into which universe you're going and no way of knowing if they pass into the wrong universe, will they be able to pass back through to get to the right one without ending all of existence.

I hate this entirely. I could have done without so much screwing with the fabric of the universe.

All the ships are now flashing one another with their hull lighting, and we have a somewhat steady stream of basic information flowing between us all.

Four of the Voyagers here look identical, including our own.

One does not, it's heavily battle damaged and looks like it's ready to fall apart any second.

The Val Jean looks exactly as I remember it.

And I am completely overwhelmed with curiosity to know what the hell is going on for sure, I want to see what their time lines have resulted in and at the same time I'm terrified.

I know I shouldn't want to, curiosity, the cat, and all that, but it's not every day you get to see five other versions of your destiny playing out and that alone is why it could be dangerous.

This could be interesting.

Or really bad.

I'm guessing really bad.

Kathryn looks as stressed as ever, I feel as though she's still holding back on something, there definitely feels like there's something she hasn't told me, she knew there was possibility there were other ships out there and didn't seem overly surprised to see them all there.

She's got that guilty, far away expression haunting her.

It's enough to give me the willies and wonder if everything is approaching a rapid end here.

We've been sat on the bridge watching the synchronised light show between ships, wondering how the hell we continually end up in these situations.

After seven years, we are still experiencing the bonkers aspect of life rarely experienced by others.

The plan is that a representative from each ship will meet, here on our Voyager and we'll see just how bonkers this all really is.

I should have told Captain Picard to piss off.

I'm still not entirely sure if this is going to work, if we don't exist to each other we might not be able to meet.

But there are shuttles making their way to us now so we'll soon see.

Kathryn decided that only the Command team are to be present for this, to keep the temporal fallout to a minimum if at all possible and that makes me slightly more nervous.

I'm about to be in a room full of Kathryn's.

Oh Gods.

I haven't got the nerves for this.

I've had dreams like this, this will be impossible to navigate facing that much distraction.

Let's just fill a room full of the woman of your dreams, what could go wrong?

Kathryn's on her third coffee, she never does well with being patient, she's like a kid at Christmas, it's charming and worrisome all at once.

Her impatience usually ends in trouble and it's not like we're lacking in trouble right now.

I'm somewhat surprised Relativity haven't beamed me away by now, what are they waiting for, surely this isn't a situation they want to see play out.

But then again if they're not interfering maybe this is what's supposed to happen.

I don't know.

I hate that I don't know or understand any of this.

I should have stayed home, I should have stuck to digging up history in the mud and avoided space travel altogether.

But then again if ifs and buts were candies and nuts….

I want to ask Kathryn more about just what Neelix did to cause the lizard time line but this isn't the time, I'll wait until we've got whiskey and not a load of doppelgangers roaming around the place.

I can't wait.

* * *

Well this isn't what I was expecting at all.

I'm stood in the presence of four Kathryns, five other Chakotays and two Tuvoks, both of which appear to hold the rank of first officer.

And that's enough to make me go cold instantly, because there's a big difference in some of the Command positions of the other Voyagers and it makes me wonder where the missing… us… are.

One Chakotay is dressed in my old Marquis clothing and the other three mirror my own Commander-like appearance accept one has an extra pip.

One of the Kathryn's still has long hair pinned up in that ridiculous poofy thing she used to do, another one looks identical to my Kathryn… my Kathryn… stop getting distracted… and the last looks like walking skeleton haunted by her own appearance, covered in thick scars and set with sunken eyes clawing against her sunken cheeks.

Tuvok looks like Tuvok apart from the Command uniform, that makes it all the more annoying.

Two neutral statues.

Gods help us.

It's all a bit awkward to start with no one really knows who or how to start this conversation, until eventually all the Kathryn's attempt to speak at once and instantly all the Chakotays, myself included, smile at this.

This is going to be one hell of a head fuck.

As we start to settle into chairs around the table, one of the Kathryn's gestures towards my… our Kathryn and speaks.

"Captain of the ship first."

"Thank you, or rather thank me…" She rolls her eyes in confusions, laughs at herself and I remember why I keep getting distracted by her, the fact she finds herself funny kills me because the rest of the Kathryns don't look amused by her at all.

She clears her throat awkwardly as the laughing quietly fades out with her embarrassment at laughing at her own bad joke and she continues to speak.

"Now obviously, this isn't the type of situation any of us are completely prepared to deal with, but I'm also sure you're all well enough aware of temporal contacts and hopefully the procedures there within."

The room nods slowly, almost in union and I'm not sure that I can keep a straight face for much longer, between Kathryn and the insanity of this, I'm having trouble taking this seriously.

This is made much harder as both Tuvoks leans forward to recite most of the articles of the Temporal Prime Directive simultaneously. He's just as much fun in other universes apparently.

Kathryn cuts him off with a well-placed palm and an exasperated smile.

"Thank you Tuvok…" she pauses then adds an S as an afterthought and buries a laugh that rises from herself again before continuing "… I'm sure we're all up to date on comings and goings of time travel, so with this is mind as well as the current situation we're presented with, we need to agree to some ground rules as to what is said and goes on, it's not just timelines that we're dealing with here, it's other universes as well, this is going to get complicated."

The Marquis dressed Chakotays speaks quietly, or maybe I just speak quietly anyway, I'm not sure I've not heard myself speak at length really.

"My vessel isn't Starfleet, it's Marquis and always has been, from what I can see here some of you integrated crews with a Starfleet vessel so I'm not sure what level of hostility to expect here."

Ahh…. Okay.

Awkward.

"I can assure you Chakotay that no one here bares you ill will at all, we're all here on equal ground I hope with a common goal, to figure whatever this is out and get everyone back to where they should be." Everyone nods in agreement with Kathryn.

"Then may I suggest we establish some common ground and share how we all came to be at this point." A Tuvok speaks, his Chakotay beside him nods enthusiastically, that Chakotay looks tired and as though looking at one of the Kathryns will turn him to stone, he's been actively avoiding looking at her since he arrived, smiling sadly at Kathryn earlier into the table rather than looking at her.

"If we knew where our time lines diverged we may be able to establish this happened and why."

"I agree."

"Me too."

The room broke out into agreements and looked to each other to see who would start first.

Kathryn took it upon herself to tell them the basics and where our temporal issues started and ended with us entering this space through tears entirely unawares.

By the time we heard the final Voyagers timeline, I was ready to never be in a room with them again.


	6. Bend It Chapter Six

Disclaimer: Definitely not my characters, definitely not my show, definitely hoping no one sues. Am very poor unless you accept jammy-dodger biscuits, in which case I'm minted. Characters etc belong to people far more powerful than I. Go watch the show, enjoy it, it's awesome.

* * *

Time can be brutal at it's worst.

Unforgiving.

Almost mocking in the fact that it is unbreakable and un-mouldable for the most.

Unless you're us.

In which case, time is a bitch.

Of Seska proportions.

In order to keep things straight and at Commander Tuvoks insistence, we were assigned numeric identities to keep everything understandable.

We are Voyager One.

Voyager Two consists of completely the same crew with almost identical time lines for most, except they were never bothered by Relativity recently as we were, they had been passing through this region as we had and then suddenly were greeted by the sight of the other ships, they had experienced nothing physical or picked up anything on sensors that led them to believe they were passing out of their universe through a tear.

Voyager Three has Kathryn still as Captain but with Tuvok as First Officer, the Chakotay they chased into the badlands refused to integrate after the Caretaker incident and the Marquis remain in seclusion on the ship. Their timeline varies wildly from ours and as such their Kathryn is the one who looks like the walking dead, their experience with the Hirogen was not as forgiving, nor was their entanglement with the Borg and I rather suspect her heavy scars result from extended time without full systems, their ship the heaviest damaged of them all.

Her crew has also suffered the most casualties, Harry, Neelix, Wildman and Naomi among the most notable.

They too had no experienced anything telling of passing through a tear.

Voyager Four has a Chakotay as Captain and Tuvok as First Officer after their Kathryn died in an explosion with B'Elanna Torres four years previous. The slightly haunted look of that Chakotay's eyes made sense now.

His is the time line that feels me with dread the most.

Neelix and Kes didn't stay aboard, they had settled on a planet shortly after coming aboard.

Shortly after observing their first Borg vessel, they had developed a shielding method with the help of a alien race we never met, this allowed them to pass mostly undetected by the Borg and towards a series of trans-warp corridors that allowed them to travel vast distances before finding themselves here. They never met Seven of Nine or half the alien races that tried to blast us into oblivion. They too had experienced nothing to lead them to suspect they had travelled out of their own universe to this point.

Voyager Five has Kathryn with the poofy hair and a Chakotay as first officer. In their timeline, they were delivered through a large portion of the Delta Quadrant by their Kes earlier than we were, they were thrown clean through Borg space for the most and had yet to engage with them in any way, quietly skating by any vessels they encountered on long-range scans and therefore, they had no Seven.

When they encountered the Equinox, Ransom had let Kathryn integrate his crew and had remained in the Brig ever since. I hope our Kathryn leaves that well enough alone, Rudy nearly destroyed her, more than any battle or person that had come before.

To see everything she held in such high respect so twisted and screwed up had finished off what little hope she had remaining. Things had never been the same since between us, honestly she scared me and she lost a part of herself then that she never really recaptured, I've not seen a lot of the Kathryn I've known since, but it's never changed how I feel about her. She put herself into solitary confinement in terms of her behaviour since, I've tried to coax her out slowly but surely, but she resists and she always has. I think she's still ashamed of how far she went.

This Voyager had had a relatively quiet journey thus far.

They also didn't detect a tear into another universe or anything out of the ordinary to suggest otherwise.

The Val Jean had been chased partially into the Badlands by Voyager but had lost them after Voyager suffered heavy damage before they were able to catch up to retrieve Tuvok and the Val Jean had been pulled in by the Caretaker alone and thrown across the universe.

Tuvok was executed as a spy shortly there after. Horrifying.

They remain Marquis, Seska is still present and their Chakotay is a prick if I do say so myself.

He reminds me of my younger self, egotistical and arrogant, something I lost the second I met Kathryn Janeway. I grew up, I stopped being angry at life.

To see what I could have been, the anger that still lingered had it not been for my own fate entangled with Voyager, is soul shaking.

It could have so easily still been me.

They had used, or rather they had pirated, as much in the way of supplies and equipment as they could carry in order to keep the Val Jean going and had come across a worm hole which had taken them a fair distance during a time we had been dealing with the Devore.

Passing through this region had been relatively uneventful for them and they of course did not detect they had left their own universe.

All of us were crossing this exact place in the universe at the same time in our universes.

And here we were.

Neither here or there it would seem.

We've all left our respective universes and are meeting here in at one point in time in a universe that none of us belong too.

We have indeed passed through our own tear it would seem and are just as stuck until we know which tear to pass back through. The tears are moving, making them that much harder to detect and observe what little we can and their movement has made it that much harder to tell which belongs to whom.

We don't know the consequences involved with potentially passing through the wrong tear.

It goes beyond screwing with timelines, it screwing with the universe itself.

The more we had all debated what was going on and swapped war wounds, the more all our heads span.

And Chakotay who had lost his Kathryn looked devastated at every word a Kathryn had said.

Who could blame him; he was being entertained by ghosts.

I wonder what it has been like for him without her.

I wonder if they had the same relationship that Kathryn and I share.

It's not worth thinking about, I leave it for the nightmares that increase with every tangle we get knotted in that puts her at risk. Every time we come close to losing her, the overwhelming panic that ensues afterwards is unbelievable. As though the ship would sink into the universe and never again be anything but a passing dream, Kathryn has always held this ship and crew together and without Kathryn, for me at least, there seems little point in trying to carry on for myself, it would always be for the crew.

For the most, Kathryn seems to be holding it together, but I know that somewhere in there her head is going in circles and she's slowly losing the will to live as much as me.

Something about this whole thing isn't right.

Aside from the obvious multiple us', something feels off about this whole thing.

Why isn't Relativity here to intervene? Are they not in this universe, are we beyond their reach? Why are the systems on all the ships not functioning properly, we should be able to scan practically anything and know what we're dealing with on some level, we've never been this blind before.

This can't be the beginning of something that's going to end well, it never ends well when shit like this is involved, it doesn't feel right at all.

Whilst we were all loosing our minds going over it all, Seven managed to cobble together a number of modified comm badges that should allow us to stay in communication from our respective ships.

When everyone starts to leave from what has been a tiring day, the Chakotay who lost his Kathryn finally looks at her with such a sadness and joy, my heart breaks for him.

He speaks a very quiet thank you to her, smiles and takes a long gaze at her before leaving.

Kathryn looks at me and I know that we're going to have a lot to talk about when this is all over.

"He looks broken" I don't know why I said it, we both had seen it with our own eyes, but in a way it's an admission from me that, yes, without you Kathryn, I'm a broken man.

* * *

There's not enough whiskey in the world right now.

At least Kathryn's attempting to prove this point to me.

She's many, many glasses ahead of me and is perfectly nonchalant about it, no indication that she's going to end up on her ass any when soon or that it's having any sort of effect on her really, but she's drinking like it's the end of the world.

We're sitting in her quarters and she is lost in that place she goes to where I have no hope to ever follow her into.

I know from here that her head in swimming the in same fog as me, that she's struggling to understand or begin to know how to fix it all.

Screwing with the universe isn't something to be take lightly.

One does not simply play God and think it has no consequence.

That's why there are rules in place for this sort of thing.

But we're sat in a region of space far from home, in a universe that is not our own with no breadcrumbs to lead us back to where we should be and paradoxes and relative thinking go out the window in favour of sheer confusion.

She hates this.

She hates it more than time travelling, Leeola root and bugs that eat her Talaxian tomatoes.

I know she's angry, stewing away and bubbling over occasionally with a sprinkling of well-placed profanity.

"I can't believe he executed Tuvok, even in the situation he found himself in, wouldn't the extra hands be of more use than his pig-headed morals?" I wince and she notices.

"I'm not talking about you, well I am but not really.. Well.. Who you were… well not who you were but… oh hell" She enthusiastically tosses her head back for another mouthful of whiskey and starts to pace again.

She must walk miles in terms of the amount of pacing she does.

"This is too confusing, I mean they are us but they aren't and no one, no one, should have to deal with this amount of confusion. I mean they were us Chakotay, some more than others, I mean look at Voyager Two, they are us exactly up to a point." She drops down on to the couch beside me, pulling her legs under her and holding the glass out for a refill.

"We can't judge them Kathryn, you know that." She nods as I speak and closes her eyes, flexing her neck and stretching.

"I don't even know where to start with all this, we can't influence each other but we need to still somehow work together otherwise this universe is stuck with more Kathryn Janeways than it can handle." She's still self-depreciating at every opportunity, I suppose it's a plus she has a sense of humour at all with this at her feet.

"The fact is we all have information and technology that we all could use but we can't do it, not without causing Picard to have a coronary."

"That might not be a bad thing necessarily…"

"Kathryn!"

"Well… sorry… it's the stress… and the whiskey. Look, God knows I could do with that Borg shielding that Voyager Four has, but Voyager Three is falling apart from the seams and there's no way we can help them, so no one should benefit from this. It should simply be a case of get home at this point, or rather back to our universe and that be that."

I nod slowly in agreement with her. The more we entangle with each other, the worse the consequences will be. As it is, the information we have shared is enough to cause some ripples and unintended changes to all the timelines on everyone's return to each universe.

We've learnt information that we didn't know before, we've seen each ship has taken different decisions and journeys based on those decisions and relationships around them.

This could cause each ship to re-evaluate all their decisions to this point and perhaps go forward in a way they weren't originally suppose to, those are the time ripples that aren't so obvious at first.

Relativity is going to have a hell of a time sorting this all out, no doubt everyone is going to be reset back to point before we all meet here and hopefully this time they'll avert it.

I wonder how many times we reached this point before and just what the outcome is.

Must be huge for Relativity to have been trying to prevent it.

"Keep it simple and carry on." I don't know why I said that. I couldn't think of something more wise and helpful?

Nope.

As usual, short and simple.

I live my own advice.

"If we could keep things simple Commander we wouldn't be here."

Again I nod in agreement.

Because I don't know what else to say.

Because the whiskey, it being real whiskey and not synthesised, is starting to cause my brain to enter the warm and tingly phase, and it's no longer interested in trying to understand the very workings of the universe and is more interested in anything but.

Ha ha, butt.

Yep definitely starting to feel drunk now.

"Are you as curious as me?" She looks at me with fire in her eyes again.

"Depends what we're talking about here Kathryn." Please be talking about delicious things because yes I'm curious, very curious.

"About them, us. Who they are."

Dang.

"I suppose, but I'm not sure I really want to know." I really don't, as curious as I am, I know it will only lead to trouble.

"Really? I'm fascinated." You always are Kathryn.

"Well, if they're anything like the Chakotay from the Val Jean, I don't want to know, I don't want to think of myself as anything but as… uh…"

"Yourself?" She offers.

"Yeah, I suppose, I mean, being able to judge and analyse yourself on such a detailed level probably isn't healthy."

"We're all shaped partially by our experiences and by the people around us; you're not the least bit curious as to what they might have experienced?" You're too curious for your own good Kathryn.

"I'm scared to know honestly." I probably should not have admitted that.

Damn whiskey.

"Why? Why scared?" And Kathryn's pushing it and I have a feeling she knows damn well why.

"Because I don't want to spoil the surprise." Nice save.

Yeah.

Ambiguous and mysterious.

"You've never been one for shaking your presents then?"

"Never."

"I was always at it!" Well Kathryn, that's a hell of an admission. "I'm too impatient." Yes you are. Why can't I say these things out loud? Maybe I should.

"You know what they say about slow and steady." Damn it man, you had to return to dangerous territory again already? This is why you don't speak.

"I do." It was almost a purr. I'm screwed.

"It… well… another one?" I lose my nerve to continue and instead shake the bottle of whiskey at her and hope it distracts her, which it does masterfully as she nods and adjusts her position on the couch.

"What I'm not fully understanding is how we're not able to at least observe any sort of data at all of these tears and beyond, something isn't right about this whole thing, I mean we should be able to sense each other, we're able to interact but we don't exist to each other, it's bizarre."

"Isn't that part of the job at this point?"

"True, but this is something else. I can't put my finger on it." You could if you moved about a foot in this direction Kathryn.

What is wrong with you man...

Kathryn's looking at me because I realised I frowned when I told myself off there, she looks puzzled at me and I shift my position on the couch before my groin goes to red alert.

And then I feel something.

In my pocket.

Balls, two balls, two small shiny balls.

The marbles I found down her couch and her hairpin which just stabbed at me through the fabric of my pocket.

"I completely forgot.." I reach into my pocket and Kathryn's eyes grow larger wondering what on earth I'm up to. "I found these earlier down your couch in the Ready Room, I believe you may have lost them at some point…" I present the marbles to her and she laughs.

"Very funny mister but I can only lay claim to the hair pin, perhaps they belong to Naomi" Another sip of whiskey passes her lips. "I don't think my marbles have any hope of being found."

I think about agreeing but realise I value my life too much.

"Do you think we'll ever get to the bottom of this?" I resist answering her with another lurid joke that is far too easy to access right now and instead opt for giving her some peace of mind.

"We'll figure it out Kathryn; we always do in the end." At least I hope we will. She doesn't look too reassured by my words, she simply shrugs flashes a lop sided smile.

"And if not, it's been fun buddy." She clinks her glass against mine and takes a long drink.

"Cheers to that." I take a drink too, she's right, it has been fun.


	7. Bend It Chapter Seven

Disclaimer: Definitely not my characters, definitely not my show, definitely hoping no one sues. Am very poor unless you accept jammy-dodger biscuits, in which case I'm minted. Characters etc belong to people far more powerful than I. Go watch the show, enjoy it, it's awesome.

* * *

I feel like I've given a blowtorch a blowjob, my mouth and throat are not impressed with the amount of whiskey I drank last night.

Nor is my head.

I'm dreading ordering the lights on, I'm probably going to explode into a cloud of dust.

This is why I don't drink often and especially why I usually stick to cider. It's become something of a ritual between us lately, going over reports or general chatter, we seem to have a drink in our hands even though I'm really not a drinker. It must be for bravery, spending time together has been so strained and awkward between us since Ransom and my minor attempt at a mutiny under mind control, it's like a shield between us almost but I miss just spending time with Kathryn that doesn't end with horrendous pain and vomiting.

Kathryn must feel like hell because I feel terrible and she was putting away enough to knock out the entire ship last night.

Maybe if I just stay here in bed, everything might sort itself out and I can die quietly without too much fuss.

The comm system disagrees.

"Bridge to Chakotay." Of course it's Tuvok, why wouldn't it be?

"Go ahead bridge." There is no moisture in my mouth whatsoever, the words come out somewhat slurred still, my lips gummed together.

"You're presence is required on the Bridge." Of course fucking of course.

"On my way, Chakotay out." I throw my badge across the room and scream into my pillow.

* * *

Kathryn being the mystifying and yet predictable being that she is, was of course already on the bridge.

Fresh as a daisy.

Godsdammit!

It must be the coffee, it has to be. She draws her power from it in some way that I don't understand, far beyond just a caffeine rush.

Seven's been stalking about the ship like she's walking an invisible model-runway, she's in pissed off mode as per usual because she's unable to make any sense from the situation just like us.  
For once her superiority has failed her.

She's been in Astrometrics trying her best to overcome the issues we're having with the sensors, without them we're completely blind here and apart from the obvious not being able to detect the other ships at all, they're also not detecting anything else.  
Something is blocking them entirely, whether it's the universe or something else.

Seven's standing next to Kathryn currently, handing over a Padd of more of her theories and requests for additional help to explore them. Kathryn looks unimpressed and somewhat confused reading it and Seven looks, pissy and pouty. She's sporting the silver uni-tard thing that she wears today, she looks like a nacelle. She shoots me a cold look and the most miniscule of head movements of a nod before looking at Kathryn, waiting for a response.

"Seven, although I encourage out of the box thinking, this goes beyond out of the box and way out into space, I appreciate the thought though, perhaps instead you could look into why all the Comm-badges we gave out to the other ships don't seem to be working, we're unable to reach any of the other ships except Two and even that keeps dropping out."

Seven nods curtly and exits without a word.

Voyager Two had contacted the bridge earlier to inform them they had experienced an intruder on board in the early hours and their Command team were on their way over to us to have a word.

When I arrived, Kathryn didn't look a hair out of place but I could see a worried expression in her eyes, something is bothering her and not even the whiskey has shaken it out of her last night.

Getting Kathryn to speak about her problems is like trying to get Tuvok to try stand up comedy, painful.

She hangs on to so much, more than most people have had to deal with, but she rarely delegates the weight of it all to anyone else, happy to continue punishing herself for making the right decision.

I realise I'm gazing at her again which isn't unusual, I usually do when I'm pondering Kathryn but just as she's about to catch me in the act by looking up, the turbo lift doors open and a hush falls over the bridge as another Janeway and Chakotay stroll onto the bridge.

No one quite knows where to look and Janeway and Chakotay look uncomfortable at the realisation this is completely bizarre to everyone, Janeway nods at Kathryn and gestures towards the ready room silently.

I see Kathryn sigh deeply, give me pleading look of exasperation and we both make our way to the Ready Room.

* * *

"We're sorry to bother you with this, I know we agreed to keep this as untangled as possible between us all but we think this concerns you as well." Chakotay speaks and I realise I'm staring, it's not often you get to have a conversation with yourself like this.

And now I'm intrigued.

"This morning an intruder appeared in my quarters and we think he may have been looking for you, we had never encountered him before but he seemed to know us." Now it's Janeway talking while Kathryn replicates herself a coffee and we all settle onto the couch, as a second thought Kathryn fetches Janeway a coffee and two teas for myselfs.

Myselfs.

Oh this is going to be a long week.

"Did he tell you who he was, is he still there?" Kathryn sips her coffee, I don't know about her but I'm starting to dread something new now.

"He's no longer aboard; he left shortly after his appearance."

Oh no.

"He didn't tell us his name, but he did call me by something unusual."

Please no.

"Okay…" Kathryn now has the same worried face as me.

I take a large gulp of tea and brace myself once more.

"Aunt Kathy."

Oh Gods.

Kathryn's face starts to redden at the cheeks and neck but she remains silent, staring back at Janeway, while they both look puzzled.

"When I inquired as to who he was, he said 'Damn I thought you were them, you're so alike you know'." I'm biting my lip because Kathryn's volcano is about to experience some aftershocks. "We realised he probably meant you as our timelines were so similar, more so than the others at least, he vanished before Chakotay was able to reach his phaser, he couldn't have been aboard for more than 3 minutes." Janeway falls quiet as she realises neither of us have said anything.

And then Mount Janeway begins to creak and then roar before exploding.

"GODS DAMMIT Q!"

We both hear the snap that instantly follows her words, Voyager Two's Command Team seem to also as their heads snap around to the same direction as ours.

"Hello Kathy, have you missed me?"

* * *

Q ducks just in time to avoid Kathryn's coffee cup sailing through the air, eventually smashing against the wall before Q snaps his fingers and the dented cup and spilt coffee vanish and a full cup appears before Kathryn once more.

"Keep it going Q, you're just re-arming me!" She flings the coffee cup back through the air again and it vanishes before it could make contact with Q.

"Oh come on Kathy, you have to admit you missed me a little bit."

"Only with the cup Q, where ever you go trouble follows."

"I'm hurt Kathy, you've become so hostile." He clicks himself a cup of coffee into existence, takes a long gulp before making a horrified face.

"Disgusting stuff and that's the clean way of putting it."

"Q you have precisely one minute and one minute only to explain yourself before I start to help you shuffle off your immortal coil."

"Oh Kathy, as delightful as that sounds, your empty threats do nothing to encourage me, you know that, besides you're not the least bit threatening, you're more enchanting."

"So help me Q…" Kathryn has started to advance towards him as Q backs up towards the wall, for someone not very threatening she's got him on the ropes.

Voyager Two's Command Team look utterly confused still.

"Now, now Kathy, not in front of your guests." He gestures to Janeway and Chakotay who look back at him mystified.

"Nice to see you again folks, are you having a nice trip? Good to see you again Chuckles." He smiles at them and Chakotay looks at his Janeway puzzled.

"Quite the adventure" Janeway speaks up when it becomes obvious Chakotay has no intention and is continuing to eye Q suspiciously, good man, good instincts. "Am I to understand that you're Q, as in Picard's Q?"

"The one and only" He throws his hands up dramatically and smiles. "Well not the one and only, there's quite a few of us, the continuum is a busy place and it may have been one of the other less superior Qs, I forget."

I do not have the patience for this today and I'm genuinely worried that Kathryn is about to murder the first Q.

"Look folks, why don't you take some time, swap stories of your adventures and enjoy getting to know yourselves, literally." He looks pleased with himself as he speaks but Kathryn startles him as she lunges forward towards him.

Q clicks his fingers in a fluster before Kathryn can reach him and is gone.

"What I would give to have kept one of those Q weapons from the Civil War." Kathryn laments, shaking her head.

* * *

"Well this explains a lot." Kathryn sags into the chair behind her desk and covers her eyes with her hand, I have a feeling the whiskey may make a reappearance later.

"It does?" Janeway looks at Kathryn astonished, she's still not in the loop yet.

"I have to say he's not what I was expecting at all."

"Don't let his appearance fool you, he really is a jack-ass." I feel slightly proud of myself for that one. Chakotay looks at me with a smirk.

"Let's just say it's safe to assume that Q is behind all this and that until he's finished making whatever idiotic point he is trying to make we're stuck here." Kathryn looks like she's lost the will to live, her hands gesturing limply as she talks.

"Is there no way to reason with him?" Questions Chakotay, poor naïve Chakotay.

"I'm afraid Mr Q doesn't respond to requests or anything resembling logic, without there being something in the bigger picture we're not seeing, he's always got an ulterior motive for his appearances and they usually lack in common sense."

"You never encountered Q until now?" I'm slightly shocked that they haven't met him, he's popped up far too many times for my liking.

"Never, this was the first time. I'd heard of the Q obviously, most of us have, but I wasn't expecting him to be in my bedroom at three in the morning." Janeway looks as unimpressed as Kathryn was with his first appearance and with, well, every appearance afterwards really.

"The word 'boundaries' and Q do not go together unfortunately. Be prepared to see him again, he'll be back to make his demands soon enough." Kathryn sighs and rises as the Command team do "We'll notify the other ships to be ready just in case, contact us the second he reappears, Seven has managed to get most of the Comm badges working again."

"Yes Ma'am." Janeway salutes Kathryn with a smirk, she will be all too familiar with the fact Kathryn hates that because she no doubt also hates that. She's really another Kathryn; I can see the wicked glint in her eye.

As I ponder the many times I've seen the similar glint in my Kathryn's eyes as the other Command team leaves, something finally registers with my brain. It hadn't really stuck before but now I'm entirely sure something fairly huge was just dropped casually into conversation.

Kathryn sees them to the door and turns to see me gawping at her open mouthed.

"If the wind changes you'll be stuck like that."

"You didn't just hear that?" Maybe I'm hearing things.

"Hear what?"

"I'm fairly sure Janeway said Chakotay was in her bedroom at three this morning." I look at her with wide eyes.

She starts to form an answer with her lips but stops herself and her brow crumples into her thinking face.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well she said Q appeared at three in the morning…"

"Right.."

"…And that Chakotay barely had time to grab his phaser…"

"Right.." She's looking at me like I've gone mad.

"…And you heard him say nice to see you again Chuckles…"

"Maybe he responded to an intruder alert."

"Without his phaser drawn and ready, I doubt it."

"Well maybe he was there in a friendly capacity, you've been in my quarters at three in the morning."

"Not while you were in bed Kathryn" Sadly "She said she was in her bedroom when he arrived, so why would she be in the bedroom and him in another room with his phaser there within reach if he went for it but not armed if he was simply reacting to a intruder alert?"

"Personal security? Maybe his Janeway is a feisty one?"

"You're a feisty one and I don't bring my phaser when I'm in your quarters at three in the morning Kathryn, so he must either be well armed or he keeps it there…"

"What point are you trying to make?…" She's impatient again, she knows perfectly well what point I'm trying to make, she's just trying to avoid acknowledging there's a possibility that we - "…are you trying to insinuate they're sleeping together?"

Well shit she went and said it.

"Ahh…" Shit, shit, shit, shit "…yes..?"

"You don't seem sure." One hand is on her hip, the other hanging limply by her side with her fingers doing that thing she does when she's stressed.

"Kathryn…"

"Does it matter?"

"What?" Brain is in panic mode, can't function, shit, shit, shit, shit.

"Does it matter if they are sleeping together?"

I want to say yes, it does matter because it's the life we should be living, without Q and more importantly, being debriefed by my Captain on a daily basis sounds like my perfect existence.

Her eyes are drilling into my very soul, they're icy and cold right now and I'm once again shrinking, she always makes me feel half a man, I've never had someone cause me to doubt myself as much as her, it's ridiculous.

"No.." I lie.

"..It doesn't..." I fib...

"…It's their business..." I dishonestly state.

"...It's of no interest to me..." This will haunt me for all time.

"..Sorry…" I'm not sorry.

"Subject closed." Until five minutes after I've left you here and then I'm going to obsess about it all day.

"I suggest you make the crew aware to be on alert for intruders for Q's next visit and have Harry contact the other ships and pass it along."

"Aye, Captain."

I turn to leave the Ready Room, my cheeks redder than a strawberry and my nerves completely shot, this is all too much. Kathryn starts tapping away at a Padd and I tuck my tail between my legs and run for the hills. Or at least to the bridge.


	8. Bend It Chapter Eight

Disclaimer: Definitely not my characters, definitely not my show, definitely hoping no one sues. Am very poor unless you accept jammy-dodger biscuits, in which case I'm minted. Characters etc belong to people far more powerful than I. Go watch the show, enjoy it, it's awesome.

* * *

"This is too wild, seeing yourself is one thing but there's so many of them." Tom is overwhelmed by the alarming amount of Voyager Crew now milling around this part of the universe, I think we all are really, but few of us possess the imagination of Tom Paris, which right now is probably trying to decide if asking if B'Elanna would consent to a five-some with the other B'Elannas is a possibility. The Val Jean B'Elanna would eat him for dinner.

"I don't want to know, what if I'm the only one left?" Oh Harry, if you only knew you poor bastard.

"I'm sure the other Harry Kim's are doing you proud." Admirable attempt from Tom to reassure him but of the remaining three remaining Harry's here, one has post traumatic stress and the other caught some form of burrowing crabs from shore leave. Hopefully the other Harry's out there in their universes are having a better time of it, or at least are making more sensible choices when it comes to sexual partners.

"What about you Tuvok, do you think you could learn something from meeting yourself?" Tom looks at Tuvok with an interested grin, the Vulcan's eyebrow rises up his forehead.

"I've already met myself Mr Paris, it was not anything out of the ordinary."

"Speak for yourself." It was barely muttered under Tom's breath.

Wait.

When did Tuvok meet himself?

"You met yourself Tuvok?" I turn to look at him, unaware he had broken orders to interact with himself.

"I assure you not physically, although I am mentally aware of the other Commander Tuvok's in the vicinity now, I have only interacted with a metaphorical version of myself."  
A meta… What?

He notices my silent confusion.

"I am able to attain a level of meditation in which I am able to observe myself out of my physical constraints."  
Yeah, alright, enough said. We get it, you're way enlightened.

"Sounds groovy." Tom laughs at himself and so does Harry.

My padd bleeps an alert and I press the screen to see a message from Kathryn, she has requested all information from the other ships on whether they have had any previous encounter with Q or if we've been the only one's blessed, no cursed, with his presence this journey. Kathryn's picked out time-frames of when Q was present in our time-line to compare against their logs and requested specific information regarding any unexplained or unusual events. It would take an age to go through all of their logs, so using a algorithm Seven programmed will make it much easier.

Well hopefully.

Either way Kathryn's been going over the reports she's already received and no doubt is already bored of it.

Tapping the message open, it's pretty much what I expected to see from Kathryn.

Would I mind later assisting her going through reports they've sent over, she promises dinner, if you can call her replicator burnt food dinner, and a good portion of her holo-credits.

She's been spending less time on the holodecks since things went south with her leprechaun.

I shouldn't be so bitter and childish but she basically altered a program to behave like me, at my height but with a different wrapping I guess.

That asides, I'm still as curious as hell about the other ships adventures and it might answer a few questions or maybe pose new ones.

We shouldn't do this really, but fuck it, who cares at this point really?

I'd say the universe is already screwed, consequences be damned.

* * *

This is certainly an eye opening experience.

It's been oddly silent whilst we've been poking our noses into the lives of the other ships.

In finding out about any experiences with Q the other ships may have had, we've also been privy to some information that has left Kathryn in somewhat of a stunned silence and I'm not stupid enough to speak right now, I want to live through this.

Kathryn is yet again many glasses ahead of me, occasionally holding her glass out silently while not taking her eyes off the reports in front of her so I can refill it with little fuss.

This has been more whiskey lately than I'm used to drinking, I'm hoping it's not going to become a new habit, another reason for Kathryn to hide from her demons.

I don't like drinking, I've seen the damage it causes from long term abuse and it put me off having anything of a regular drinking routine, if the situation calls for it, I'm there, if not then please pass me the tea and I'll have a jolly good time on my own watching the other drunken fools.

Lately it seems everything calls for whiskey, things are getting harder.

The strain from Ransom is still present, the distance she put between us to carry on was ridiculous, I was still slightly insulted by holo-bar-bastard, alright very insulted and she's been hiding from me for so long now that any time we spend together is always a gentle pool for most, with the most horrendous undercurrent tugging at our ankles that it's hard to want to keep meeting with her in the places we can't but we want, it's draining.

I've been patient because it's all I really have, if not for faith we would be no where, Tom wouldn't be at the helm, Torres wouldn't be holding the ship together in engineering, Seven wouldn't be… whatever she is, you get the drift… Faith comes in so many varieties and I still have faith in Kathryn. Even if she doesn't in herself.

Kathryn suddenly snorts a laugh into the padd resting on her knees and takes a long drink.

I resist the urge to ask her what's funny.

"This is utter madness." She shakes her head as she speaks, looking at me with a gentle smile.

"Would you have it any other way?"

"At this point I'll take it any way it's offered!" She takes another drink while I choke on mine, I'm slightly disappointed it took this long for my brain to reach the inappropriate stage, better late than never I suppose.

Kathryn notices me suddenly spluttering, whiskey running down my chin and smiles, satisfied with herself.

"Chakotay of the Val Jean reported that the ship that disabled Voyager before it caught up in the Badlands was named the U.S.S. Cue."

"Subtle." Can't blame the man really, I wouldn't have made the connection at that time.

"The serial number for the ship was binary for 'fools', they didn't catch that either." She laughs.

This really is ridiculous.

"Captain Chakotay of Voyager Four reported the alien's they encountered that assisted them with the Borg shielding were known as the 'Queue Tipse', a very helpful race that simply asked for some bananas and bath salts in return for providing them with Borg stealth technology." She buries her head into her hands and then lifts it wearily to look at me.

"Bath salts and Bananas."

"He'd made a Farengi cry with those kind of deals."

"Here's the kicker, the same star date in our time line? He showed up serenading me in the bath with a fruit basket and spa products, back when he was trying to convince me to mate with him." She disappears back into her hands again.

"What can I say Kathryn, you drive a man to desperate measures." She groans in response but remains elusive, she looks as though she's attempting to burrow into herself away from it all.

The only contact I've had involving Kathryn in a bath featured a monkey in a prominent role and despite it being somewhat of a spectacular wing man, having caused enough distraction to Kathryn to cause a momentarily lapse in her barriers, I have remained somewhat friend-zoned ever since. The tension remains there though, the air between us never really fizzling out. I don't think it ever will go away.

"Meanwhile on Voyager Three, Neelix suffers an apparent extreme allergic reaction to a banana pancake and goes on a rampage in the mess hall, after striking a crewman with a ladle, he was subdued by First Officer Tuvok and died a few hours later, traces of methylenedioxypyrovalerone and mephedrone were found in his system during his autopsy... Bath salts…" She sighs.

"Death by a banana pancake? Bit extreme isn't it?" Q is one twisted beast.

"Creative, I'll give him that." She takes a drink before continuing. "First Officer Tuvok reported later that he discovered Neelix was responsible for smuggling a phaser to the Marquis who had been confined to quarters since the Caretaker, which was used by Chakotay two weeks prior to stun three guards and nearly kill Captain Janeway in an attempt to stage a mutiny and take control of the ship."

Fucking hell.

I'm staring at Kathryn open mouthed in absolute shock. I tried to kill her?

I know I staged my own mutiny against Kathryn, but in my defence I was under mind control at the time. I think that's really when Kathryn stopped trusting me so much even though it technically wasn't me.

This has to be the most time we've spent together since I'm honest.

And it's making me start to fall dangerously back in lo-…

Ahh be serious man, you never fell out of it in the first place.

I can't believe how angry I could have become, both that Chakotay and the Chakotay of the Val Jean have wasted so much of their lives.

I know how the rage would bubble and boil and how much they think they're still fighting against something that is worthy, unaware how in vain it all is.

The peace is worth it alone, not the struggle to exist in a world where violence doesn't lead to anything involving a good outcome. They could have been happy. They could have had a life.

They could be me.

If they only knew that Kathryn is the one thing they're actually looking for, that she, and she alone, would be responsible for teaching me to live again.

And lo-..

She interrupts my thoughts before I can start to overanalyse us again and sighs deeply before swallowing more whiskey.

"At the same time, on Voyager Five…" she falls silent shaking her head. "I can't even.." She places the padd on her knees, still shaking her head and trying to bury a laugh. She's always laughing at the most inappropriate of times, we've just learnt Q murdered Neelix with a pancake and she's laughing like she's never laughed before.

She holds the padd out to me so I can read whatever's tickled her and see that at that point on Voyager 5, Harry contracted his burrowing crabs on shore leave from an alien named "Qute".

Now that's funny.

"Cute." Kathryn chortles, this whole thing is completely ridiculous.

I pass the padd back and she settles it back on to her knees and refills her whiskey.

"Every trace of Q in all these logs all point in one direction, every move he has made has then impacted another universe, he takes one thing from one universe and dumps it into another, he says one thing here then does one thing there, all of it all leads to the same eventuality." Kathryn's got the look in her eyes that comes when she's on the precipice of a realisation, it's so focused and steady that she just seems to be unravel without much fuss.

"Everything leads to here, to this moment, he's been trying to ensure that we all ended up here at this point at the same time."

"He's certainly been playing the long game." I shake my head as I speak, I can't believe we've been his puppets for this long and for what? What does this all eventually lead to?

Surely there must be some big pay-off for him in all of this, with the scale of his operation, it had to lead to something huge.

What the hell is it?

What can bringing us here in this moment accomplish?

And why just these versions, why not all the universes?

More importantly, why oh why, did I lament earlier not having anything interesting to do?

This is my fault entirely.

"He's all over these logs Chakotay, even if they didn't see it, he's there."

He most definitely is, his calling card is all over all the other ships timelines, even if they don't know it. He's been most sneaky.

I knew he had some sort of strange fascination with humans and with Voyager, but it's really with Kathryn. And it bothers the hell out of me.

Always has.

Because of my own fascination with her.

Pure jealously, plain and simple.

I turn to look at Kathryn, she put the padd down she was reading and she's fiddling with her glass in an absent minded manner, she fidgets like mad when something is on her mind.

It's slightly adorable.

"I can't begin to think what the outcome of all this will be." I say, trying to break the quiet tension that's building. "For a web he's been weaving for seven years, there's got to be something in it for us to be here right now."

"No doubt it's something perverse, I get the feeling Mrs Q isn't aware of this." Her voice has taken on that throatier tone, the one that makes the hair stand up on the backs of my arms and a chill to run the length of my spine.

"Kathryn, how much did you read on Voyager Two?" Now I'm tempting fate.

Because despite Kathryn being one the most impressive of speed readers, I know she's yet to get to that point. More so because she's avoiding reading about them but at the same time, I know that she has read some of Voyager Two's reports and she's pretending she hasn't to save face.

"Not much yet, I got distracted by crabs, pancakes and mutinies." She takes another long drink while making eye contact, holding it firm and refusing to back down. She doesn't want me to call her out on this.

"What did you read?" What am I doing? Why am I doing this?

"Enough." Her tone's become serious. This isn't going to end well, I need to stop this.

"Enough?" You idiot, stop now, why do I keep going?

"Yes, _Enough_." The emphasis on the "Enough" is almost a growl. Shit. I'm in trouble. Back down man, back down now. The eye contact has turned into more of a glare. A death glare. Oh Gods.

"Did you want to talk about it?" Why do I keep talking? What the hell are you doing man?

"Not particularly." End of subject as far as she's concerned then.

Wait.

No.

Not end of subject, no, no, no, you're sweeping this under the carpet again, no, we have to talk about this once and for all. It might help if I'd actually just said that out loud instead of just sitting here staring at her.

"Perhaps.." I start.

"Perhaps we should call it a night Commander." I'm definitely in fucking trouble.

She looks like she's about to rip my face off with one swipe.

"It's been a long day and no doubt there's another ahead of us." She finally breaks eye contact, swallows the remaining whiskey in her glass, puts it on the table and stands up.

For a moment, I'm dumbstruck. So much so that I remain staring at the space she had just been holding my eye contact, long after she's stood up and disappeared into her bedroom.

The one place I never stray in to. She knows I won't follow and that unless she comes back out, it's conversation over and "goodnight".

I thought this might give us a reason to finally talk, finally admit what has been sparking between us in actual words and not just stolen glances and hidden meanings in what we do say to each other. Just once I want to be able to actually face this and not have it dismissed away as nothing.

For years we have been playing an invisible game, one with no winners but I'm always the loser.

I can admit that most of it is from my side, at least it was at first.

It started as respect. Which grew a friendship. Which grew an admiration. Which grew a slight crush. Which grew a whopping crush. Which grew all out adoration.

And now we're here.

And I know it's not just all me, she is unbelievably flirty, usually in the most inappropriate of times, but I flirt right back. We flirt. We flirt so hard it's borderline sexual harassment of each other at times. She's always right there, clinging on to whatever carousel we're spinning of unresolved sexual tension.

And neither of us ever really let go, even when she's shutting me out in the cold like winter is never going to end, it never dies between us. It always resurrects.

And that means there is something more to us than just this, because she feels it too. And right now she's playing the game she invented where it's not real.

This is all because I was right about Voyager Two.

They are sleeping together.

It's all there in their logs, in painful detail.

In just gut-wrenching detail really, as in I will never be able to unread what I read and my brain is now contaminated and overrun with a whirlwind of Kathryn, kind of detail.

That lucky bastard.

When they made contact with Starfleet at the same time we did, the message Janeway sent to her superiors was to ask permission to seek a relationship on board and Janeway was not only granted the permission, she was encouraged to try and relax and have somewhat of a normal life as possible away from the stress of being a stranded Captain.

I've gone through in my head a million times the reasoning behind Kathryn's decision to stay on her side of the line and keep me on the other, I know she feared both personal and professional repercussions from pursuing a relationship with me, that she feared it would distract her from her role of keeping the ship running, that it would lessen the crews perception on decorum to be upheld, that she would lose respect.

Never once did she consider these were her restraints, no one else's.

Her self imposed rules seem to stem from the worry in her own mind, excuses to once again punish herself by not allowing her to live a normal life until her crew could.

But in reality, the crew want Kathryn happy, and I, more than anything, want Kathryn to be happy.

And I think she could be happy with me.

So much so that I'm not backing down for once.

Apparently.

I'm already walking towards her bedroom, I don't even remember standing up.

"How long are we going to do this Kathryn?"

"Do what?" She's changed into her dressing gown and sounds incredibly pissed off.

"Don't play stupid with me Kathryn, you know what." She rolls her eyes and starts towards the living area to pick up the glasses, while I follow like a dog biting at her ankles.

"Don't walk away from me, from this again Kathryn, get the hint neither me or it is going away."

She's tidying away the remains of the evening, recycling the plates from dinner, picking up Padds, anything that means she doesn't have to stop and face me.

"This isn't the time Commander." Rank isn't going to work this time Kathryn.

"Then when is the time? When do you think you can schedule me in to your life Kathryn? Because I've been nothing but patient while you're pretending there's nothing between us." She stops suddenly, her back to me.

I can't see her face and it's driving me crazy.

"There _is_ nothing between us, Commander." She won't turn to look at me, she's talking to spot on the deck in front of her.

I feel like I'm just been punched in the gut.

"That's only because you won't let there be anything between us." I argue "You keep pushing me away like it's just your decision to make but it isn't." I can feel myself shaking but she still won't look at me.

"You can't change the way I feel because it's inconvenient to you and then pretend you don't feel the same Kathryn, you're just as much to blame for this as I am, you've done more than your fair share of dangling the invisible carrot, you think you can lead me and push me away as it pleases you? I'm not a toy Kathryn." She has not moved an inch as I've let forth a good seven years worth of angst her way. "The thing is Kathryn, I think you actually enjoy knowing how I feel about you, it makes you feel good about yourself, you get a kick out of it. You're just as bad as Q and his games, you play God and don't stop for a second to consider that I might actually feel something real for you."

I'm raising my voice.

Now she spins on her heels and looks at me with hell fire in her eyes.

"Fuck you Chakotay."

"You know I actually could now, I'll go and see if one of the other Chakotays is available." I spit out and begin to walk towards the doors out of this miserable place. I'm halfway there when I hear her trying her best to conceal a laugh, before completely failing and cackling into her hands.

I stop and I can't help but smile.

It's her laugh.  
It's always her laugh.

"Look I'm sorry, okay?" She starts towards me, still laughing with tears in her eyes, I'm not sure if they're because she's laughing or if she's laughing to cover the tears.

"There never seems to be a good time to talk about this and I'm got great at this sort of thing… It's… complicated… we're… complicated… And right now I haven't got the brain power to deal with all of this and Q and multiple us' from another universe. We will talk Chakotay, I promise you."

By now she's made her way over to me and is searching for my eye contact, which is actively avoiding hers by looking at the deck. If I look at her now I'm likely to either cry or kiss her or do something else incredibly stupid to screw this all up once more.

"Just tell me one thing Kathryn, please."

"Anything Chakotay."

"Just tell me there is something, tell me I'm not crazy."

She grows quiet and I find myself looking up to find her eyes softly gazing back at me. There must only be an inch between us at this point.

I'm sweating.

Spirits, it's hot.

She gently lays a soft hand against my face, stands on tiptoe and kisses me on the forehead so lightly, it felt as though a butterfly had landed there. Time stopped there almost for a moment.

She drops back to her natural height again and looks me squarely in the eyes.

"There is most definitely something."

I let the thought settle into my soul.

"You're still crazy though."


	9. Bend It Chapter Nine

Disclaimer: Definitely not my characters, definitely not my show, definitely hoping no one sues. Am very poor unless you accept jammy-dodger biscuits, in which case I'm minted. Characters etc belong to people far more powerful than I. Go watch the show, enjoy it, it's awesome.

* * *

When I arrive on the bridge the next day, I'm anxious.

Seven reported more problems with the all ships Comm-badges again, it seems impossible to keep a stable open Comm link to the other ships, only Voyager Two has responded today, the other ships remain quiet.

Sitting in my command chair, listening to the light chatter between Harry, Tom and Ayala on the bridge, it's not proving much of a distraction to the unease that has been growing from the start of all of this.

Much like any boys club, its tone usually changes when Kathryn's on deck, but for now they're relaxed and laughing about how weird it is to have so many alternate versions of us all roaming around, it's pretty much been the only chatter on the ship.

As much as we try to keep things quiet or at least restricted to a need to know basis, the gossip mill on Voyager is ridiculously quick and widespread.

We all indulge in it, Kathryn quite frankly is the worst for wanting to hear the gossip, usually only when Tuvok isn't present, he finds it immature and a quick way to cause security issues.

But Kathryn loves hearing what's going on around the ship, she wants me to think mainly it's a way to keep up on morale, but really she's as nosy as they come.

She's hiding in her Ready Room at the moment, she usually does avoid being in my presence for a few days after we dance about the line once more, I don't know whether it's embarrassment or shame but she's extremely talented in the ways of shutting people out when it suits her.

She didn't show for our usual breakfast and has so far not responded to any messages I've sent to her personal padd.  
So it begins.

The frosty winter of her discontent. There will be plenty of shivering on my behalf as she shuts me out from her life once more until she feels ready to start this all over again.

It's Tom and B'Elanna I feel sorry for, because every time this happens, they're stuck with me for miserable company until Kathryn melts the ice glacier between us.

I wish last night still gave me as much hope as it did at the time.

But Kathryn is good, in fact great, at filling me with hope and deflating me to the point of depression without much effort. I know I probably shouldn't rely on her for my hopes or any of my emotions, but aside from anger, there's little left.

For as much as we did talk last night, we didn't and I can't help but feel as always, something will interfere with finally getting to actually talk properly because something always does.

The first interruption between us was entirely my fault.

That night on New Earth.

I thought things were going swimmingly well.

She was happy.

I was happy.

She could have used a neck rub.

My hands could have used the exercise.

It worked out well for everyone right?

Wrong.

Because just as it was starting to get interesting, just as Kathryn began to relax and make those Gods-forsaken noises in her throat like a purring lion and I was beginning to hope that this might be a very satisfying evening indeed… so much so that seconds later Kathryn feels my unmistakable hope prodding her in the lower back, we both are suddenly turned to statues as we both realise, she says a meek thank you and runs-the-fuck away.

My penis knows no shame.

The second bad interruption was shortly after penis-gate and was again my fault.

It was obvious Kathryn was trying to herd me into the friendship category because she wasn't quite ready and so in my vain attempt to save face, I told a made-up legend that I still cringe about now. Followed by five minutes of awkward hand holding over the kitchen table, I ran for cover into my bedroom shortly after.

New Earth was just a shit show on all fronts really, for as close as we came, it wasn't enough.

If I'd have known what time away from being the Captain would have done for Kathryn, I would have been out burying our Comm badges in the river bed on the first day.

Given the chance, I would return to that planet and roam around butt-naked all day if it meant I was bitten by one of those bugs again and could live out my days with Kathryn quietly. Not that she'd go along willingly with getting bitten but I'd make it worth her while I'm sure.

That planet was something else and that time with Kathryn left me wanting more.

Just as discussions of tomatoes and the intriguing mention of bathing in a river made it's appearance, Tuvok, the ultimate cock-blocker of all time, decided we needed "rescuing" from the lovely planet free of xenophobic aliens, murderous cyborgs and all the other things in the Quadrant trying to kill us. If not for his interruption, maybe, just maybe, I would have gotten further than just a hand hold, a quick peek down a towel and a guilty wank.

The third bad interruption.

Q.

After he arrived with the intention to mate and that jealousy flared, I remember taking some scans of the super-nova into Kathryn's Ready room and we had a moment.

A moment where it was very obvious I was jealous.

And Kathryn leaned in so quickly across the desk, reaching for me to try and reassure me and maybe we'd have our first real conversation that didn't involve a made-up legend about our feelings and of course, Q, ever the asshole, showed up right at that moment.

The fourth bad interrup-

Kathryn interrupts for real.

"Janeway to Chakotay."

"Go ahead Captain."

"Please report to my Ready Room. Now."

Q.

Has to be.

I'm on my feet and at the door in seconds and as they open I hear the words I've been dreading.

"Ahh Chuckles, now the party can really begin!"

It's going to be a long day.

"So tell me kids, how are you finding yourselves?" He's reclining on the couch, his feet up on the coffee table.

"Enough of the bullshit Q, make your demands." Kathryn is apparently in no mood to be messed with today, Q winces as she swears.

"Why Kathy dear, that's so unbecoming of a lady such as yourself." She's walking towards him from the desk with fury burning her eyes. He's picked the wrong day to mess with her.

"Don't you 'Kathy Dear' me you little prick" She kicks his feet off the table. "I've had enough of your games, you tell me now what the hell is going on before I dedicate the rest of my life ensuring you spend the rest of eternity shackled to Mr Neelix on one side and the Doctor on the other." He looks like he's about to laugh and a look of doubt appears, he's actually questioning whether Kathryn can do this.

"You can't do that!" He laughs before snapping his fingers and disappearing.

I look at Kathryn and then hear another snap, returning Q back to the couch looking somewhat haunted.

"Turns out you can, I've somewhat underestimated you." He peers at Kathryn curiously. "That was a time line I did not anticipate. You are always surprising me Captain Janeway, never a dull moment, that's what this was about really."

"About what Q?" Kathryn draws in closer to him, almost pinning him to the couch seat with her arms. Q shrinks back into his seat, whatever future he foresaw of Kathryn has scared him.

I could not be prouder of her right now.

She's pinned down the closest thing to God in existence.

She looks angry as all hell and I'm way more turned on than I should be.

But seeing her all fired up, dominating the impossible once more, I can't help the stirring I'm feeling in the pants region.

"You see, I do so enjoy spending time with you." Q looks at her like a puppy, Kathryn looks at him like a lioness.

Damn it all she's sexy.

"And we always have such fun when we're all together here, so far away from boring desk jobs and the hum-drum life."

Kathryn somehow draws closer, her arms are definitely pinning him at both sides, her knee starting to draw up near his groin in a threatening pose, if that was a guy, she'd break his nuts, knowing Q he actually has none, but either way, by the look on his face she's scaring the hell out of him so I couldn't be happier.

"Talk faster and with more sense Q."

Sweet spirits, it's the voice.

The one that rattles my very bones.

One in particular.

It is ridiculous how turned on I am, this is so wrong.

"You see, out of all of existence Kathy, I chose you. Out of all the life forms out there, the infinite races and forms and lives, I chose you. You are the one that more than anything like to spend time with, you're my favourite thing."

He actually sounds sincere. If I didn't know any better I'd say he was telling the truth.

"I can't figure you out and I understand everything, and I mean everything and I can't figure you out at all. No matter what is thrown at you, you continue to fight and carry on and you don't ever stop, not really, not for one second." Kathryn's backed off slightly, she's actually listening to him.

"You've stared death in the face it doesn't stop you from your goal, nothing does."

Kathryn looks at me briefly, as though to see if I'm believing what I'm hearing.

"Out here, you're more alive than ever, it's the best years of your life I'd say and I've seen them all, all the different Kathryn Janeway's all their stories, they all end the same, your crew gets home, because of you. Small things that you did that made all the difference later, the ripples you made were felt throughout time, whether you made a choice that made all the difference or all out sacrificing yourself to get them home, you did it, you always did it. The crews you left behind carried on in your name, and in your name they achieved the most wonderful, beautiful things, but nothing as beautiful as when you're alive. You touched so many lives without meaning to, without wanting to for your own ego, you did it because it's who you are, not like me.

No matter how many lives I try to touch, I'm nothing more than a fleeting moment to them, nothing special. And you're special without trying and I don't know how you do it."

"Is this what it's about? You want to feel special?" Thankfully it would seem Kathryn is as confused by his outpouring as I am.

"When you get home, it's never the same. We never have fun together anymore, you all get so boring with your normal lives, there's no spark any more. I can't play with you like I used to, I miss that, I miss seeing you all here."

The bastard has seen our future? We get home? He likes us? What?

"Of all your timelines and universes, you all here now are my favourites, but you, most of all, are my very favourite don't forget that." He winks at Kathryn who looks suddenly unimpressed again.

"What are we doing here Q?"

"Well… promise you won't hate me?" He looks at her like a child reaching for it's mother's love.

"Q."

"Of all these versions of your story, no matter what I did, you all ended up in the same region at the same time, where there happens to be a worm hole…"

"Q.." Kathryn's anger is starting to simmer.

If he's about to say what I think he's about to say, I need to erect a force field around the ready room, because Kathryn will punch him clear out into space.

"That might or might not… lead back to the Alpha Quadrant…" He looks at Kathryn sheepishly.

"..Q…" Boiling now, she's boiling.

"And I didn't want you all to go home and get boring… so…"

"..So, what, Q?" Metal could melt.

"I thought if I trapped you all here, you would never be able to go home and I could continue to have fun with you all…"

Oh, he should totally start to run.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME Q?! ARE YOU SHITTING ON MY DESK AND TELLING ME IT'S A CAKE RIGHT NOW?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" She's going super-nova folks.

Q's places his hands over his ears and has scrunched his face up, Kathryn just unleashed the gates of hell on him. She's still shouting, I can only picture Tom Paris' face right now, they can totally hear this on the bridge.

"YOU'RE LIKE THE MOST OVER-POWERED STALKER IN EXISTENCE, YOU WANT SOME COMPANY GET A FUCKING CAT!"

That's some good advice, who doesn't love a cat?

"WE'RE NOT YOUR PERSONAL PUPPET SHOW, YOU WANNA PICK ON SOMEONE? GO FUCK WITH RIKER!"

She is never letting that Will Riker grudge go, poor man.

"INFACT, GO FIND KIRK, HE'D LOVE YOU! YOU'D HAVE HOURS OF FUN TOGETHER!"

"Now Kathy, wait…" The poor bastard thinks he'll be able to interrupt her, such a Janeway Rookie.

"Oh no, Q, you're not getting away with this one, you're going to put everything back to how it should be and you're going to let us go on our way and you're never going to return."

"Before I do that I feel I should mention something…"

"Q!"

"You see, I took out a little insurance in case things didn't quite go to plan."

"What kind of insurance Q?" The hands are firmly on her hips, the daggers she's glaring are real.

Voyager shakes and an explosion rips through the air outside the view-port.

"The kind with big guns." He turns to look out the window, where an advancing Val Jean and Voyager Three are firing on us.

"What did you do Q?" Kathryn growls out before turning and running towards the bridge.


	10. Bend It Chapter Ten

Disclaimer: Definitely not my characters, definitely not my show, definitely hoping no one sues. Am very poor unless you accept jammy-dodger biscuits, in which case I'm minted. Characters etc belong to people far more powerful than I. Go watch the show, enjoy it, it's awesome.

* * *

We're all bouncing around the bridge with each blast that ripples off the shields.

Having just about made it to my command chair, I start to tap over the command console and Kathryn barks for a report.

"They're not responding to hails, Seven reported that none of Comm-Badges we gave the other ships are receiving transmissions, she believes they've been disabled." Harry shouts through the deafening blasts.

"Shields at seventy-six percent Captain, we are unable to find a firing solution, we are still unable to detect the other ships on the sensors." Tuvok yells above the blasts, wires are starting to appear from the ceiling, sparking and frayed.

"Can we bring Voyager around and fire on them manually, without locking on?"

"We can try Captain." Tom yells, eager to once again put his flying skills to test no doubt.

"Do it!"

Q has made his way to stand by Kathryn's chair, she looks up at him with a murderous glare.

"Damn it Q what did you do?"

"I armed the Marquis on the Val Jean and gave them back the use of their sensors."

"You're the one that causing the sensors to not work? Of course, why am I even asking." She shakes her head and looks at me with panic.

"I then may have armed the Marquis in seclusion on the other Voyager and helped them retake the ship, and then may have done to the same on the ship with the Equinox crew."

Another blast startles him for a moment.

"I'll admit it's a bit heavy handed but it's all for the best really, I just want us all to be happy."

"You want me to be happy Q? Send me home."

Q regards her sadly for a few seconds, slowly raises his hand and snaps himself away.

"Shields at 54 percent Captain, I'm detecting hull breaches on the port side." Tuvok yells.

The view screen shows that we've nearly pulled round into position and that Voyager Two is sat doing absolutely nothing.

Another blast rips through the bridge, a panel explodes into sparks and a large piece of plating sails through the air, stopping just inches short of hitting Kathryn.

Tom's doing his best to stay in his seat and keep Voyager on course, but the blasts that are increasing are jostling us all to the point it's almost impossible to remain seated.

"Shields are at 40 percent Captain."

Kathryn starts to speak and an ever larger blast starts to rip across the bridge.

I hear the sound of rushing blood in my ears and the world begins to blur into a darkness, my body heavy and uncontrollable.

When my eyes open next I'm lying face down on the deck.

I can see sparks flying in all directions, half on the ceiling is now on the deck.

Tom's voice startles me, its far away and I can't quite make it out. I look in the direction of the helm to see him admirably still holding on for dear life, he's got Voyager positioned and Tuvok is firing torpedoes off at a rapid pace. Tom keeps turning around to look in my direction and is yelling something I can't quite hear, my ears ringing with white noise.

I can see Tuvok is yelling but I cannot hear it.

Kathryn is clinging to the railing, her voice joining the indistinguishable din.

I try to move but cannot.

The want is there, the ability though has been stolen by a sizeable piece of plating protruding from my left shin.

Unable to stand, I settle for dragging myself forward towards my command chair, to the console to at least be of some help.

Another blast rips through the air and I look up in time to see Harry face plant his console and disappear out of sight.

Seven's appeared out of the turbo lift, grabbing on to anything near by to keep her upright.

I see her move towards Harry's position, she bends out of sight for a moment and then reappears, she then starts tapping at his console.

Another blast shakes us, more of Voyagers innards start to fall from the ceiling, creating almost a curtain between me and Kathryn.

I can see the Val Jean is putting up an fight but is failing, there are fires all over the port side, I know Kathryn is probably considering offering to beam them over before the ship would explode, that's the kind of person she really is, but they're not going to give her the chance.

Because I know that Chakotay isn't about to lay down his pride and accept help from the enemy, he never will.

The Val Jean starts to pull back, while Voyager Three looks in equally bad shape, Voyager Four however is holding up well, having snuck up from behind to join the fight. Rudy no doubt seeking his revenge for his own situation, a situation he in fact created for himself.

No doubt Q has spent the time he hasn't be pestering us, filling their head with conspiracies and bread crumbs, winding them up to the point of revenge.

I've managed to drag myself to my seat but I can't quite pull myself up, I've left a slug-like trail of blood across the deck.

Ayala is valiantly trying to push through the debris to get to me, but another shaking jolt overtakes the bridge and he's unable to keep his balance long enough to get far.

I turn to see Kathryn and find she's not there.

Where I last saw her is now a mass of debris and smoke.

The panic is increasing, with each shake of a blast, my eyes are frantically looking for her, I can't even hear myself but I know I'm screaming her name.

A light flare from the view screen engulfs the bridge as the Val Jean explodes, the hull shears off and impacts Voyager Three, which sets off a new chain of explosions, each one creating a shock wave that hits us with the force of the explosive chaos.

There's so much smoke on the bridge it's becoming hard to make anything out, I can only see the flaring lights of the view screen as universes collide together into a place they should never have been.

And then the shaking stops.

Only the occasional spark of cables and consoles remain, the smoke curling towards the remaining filters and then I know nothing at all.

* * *

I feel like I've licked a desert.

My lips are dried together and my eyes feel glued shut.

As they do finally separate and part, I am greeted with the cheerful face of the Doctor.

"Rise and shine Commander, it's time to rejoin the living."

Gingerly I try to sit up and get a bearing on the situation.

The Doctor supports my shoulders and helps me sit forward before pressing a hypo to my neck.

"You were injured on the bridge Commander, do you remember?"

Ahh yes, Q.

Oh spirits.

Kathryn.

My eyes grow wide and I must be looking panicked because the Doctors looking at me with a frown.

"Kathryn-.."

"The Captain is here in sickbay." He gestures towards the surgical bay and I can just about make out her sleeping form. "Unfortunately she's not going to bounce back as quickly, she suffered serious blunt force trauma to the head and crushing injuries to her torso. She's stable for now but she isn't by far out of the woods."

I'm going to rip Q limb from limb.

"There were twelve minor injuries to the crew Mr Kim suffered a mild concussion and Mr Paris broke his wrist trying to keep hold of the helm, but otherwise we were extremely lucky, I believe Tuvok is on his way to give you a full report, he's been on the bridge for fourteen hours straight."

He's doing nothing to console me, I'm too consumed with a red hot rage to invade the Q Continuum and show them the meaning of life once and for all with the business end of a modified torpedo.

I have no weapon that could harm a Q, but by Gods I'll find one.

"In keeping with my being the bearer of bad news commander, I regret to inform you, you have a visitor." He looks towards his office with a look of disgust.

And I see red.

Q peer's out of the doorway once again looking sheepish. Followed by a horrendously pissed off looking Mrs Q.

"What do you have to say to the Commander, you buffoon." She back hands him around the head as she speaks and he stumbles forward.

"I feel I should apologise Commander."

Spirits give me strength.

I'm raising myself up and testing the weight of my leg curiously by touching the floor.

It hurts but hopefully, I can do something to hurt Q more.

"It didn't go exactly as I had planned."

"And what did you plan Q? Because you've succeeded in nearly killing me and the Captain and destroying this ship you apparently hold so dear."

"That isn't what I intended, I would never doing anything to intentionally hurt yo-" he stops himself "Kathryn." Nice save. Douche-bag. What a tit.

"I thought they'd bully you into some sort of submission, I failed to see they'd go on a murderous rampage."

"That didn't occur to you when you armed them?"

"Well it did, but I didn't think it would get that far. I just thought they'd be able to encourage you to stay here in this little bubble and the good times could continue." He tries to laugh and it awkwardly fades upon receiving glares from both myself and his better half.

"I underestimated how pissed off they were."

He's underestimating how pissed off I am.

I'm slowly limping forward bit by bit, slowly and surely.

"I should not have interfered with your time, with your lives." He shrugs. And Mrs Q steps forward, not before hitting him once more upside the head.

"Commander, I know it's hard to believe after the behaviour of this miscreant-" She looks at Q with a glare that could melt a glacier. "- but the Q don't tend to make a habit of interfering with the life-forms, especially with ones inferior to our own -" Such a humble race the Q…

"- much like your own Prime Directive and had the continuum known of what this idiot was up to we would have put a stop to it."

I look over towards Kathryn, without much surprise the consoles are bleeping that Kathryn's blood pressure has suddenly shot up and the Doctor's doing his best to both treat Kathryn and be as subtly nosy as he can be.

"Can you fix this mess?" I look at her pleadingly.

"I can do more than that Commander, I can put you back exactly where you came from, all of you, none of this should have occurred without Q's interference so it's only right we clean up the mess he made as usual."

Before I can ask any further questions, she's snaps her fingers and in what feels like a blink, I'm sat on the bridge looking at a very confused Kathryn sitting next to me.  
Everyone's looking around trying to figure out what the hell happened.

"All stop!" Kathryn yells and stands up, looking around frantically.

"It worked." I say astonished, I didn't think she'd actually do it.

"What worked?" Kathryn's looking at me like I just grew another uglier head while checking herself for signs of the injuries she was just cheating death with.

"Mrs Q." Kathryn's eyebrows shoot up higher than Tuvoks do. "She was waiting for me in sickbay when I woke up, she was none too happy with Q and apologised and said she'd fix it, I guess this is what she meant."

"Sounds too good to be true." She snorts, her hands which now patting smooth her uniform now she was satisfied she was no longer crushed and was in reality back to as normal as she could be.

"Captain, according to the sensors, we are back at the point we were before we crossed into the tear, all systems are functioning." Tuvok reports from his station.

"On screen."

The screen shows a normal space before us, no other ships, no other us' lurking.

"Are there any other ships?"

"Nothing on short or long range scans Captain, nothing I can see on the view." Harry's smiling, safe in the knowledge another disaster had been averted,

"Mrs Q should have taken them home." I smile at Kathryn, feeling somewhat secure and happy that for once, things are back to normal.

She's smiles back at me, gob smacked that things seems to have been put right.

And of course at the moment a transporter tingle over takes me and Voyager disappears.

* * *

"YOU FUCKING TWATS!"  
And so begins round two of Captain Crazy.

"YOU'RE LIKE A MOUSE IN THE MAZE GETTING ELECTROCUTED OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN!"

Just what I needed right now.

Relativity looks just as I remembered it, Commander Adams is hanging back from Captain Picard as he loses his shit once more.

"I MEAN YOU UTTER PLANKS! IT'S LIKE TEACHING A GROUP OF TRIBBLES TO TAP DANCE, I CAN'T BEGIN TO THINK HOW YOU MADE IT THIS FAR!"

Beats the shit out of me.

"KENNETH!" The name shrieks out of him and he sags momentarily, panting with the effort.

Adams steps forward and looks at his passively.

"Kenneth, deal with this twat and made it so none of them, not one single person, from that ship EVER steps foot on this ship again, do I make myself clear?!"

"Aye, Captain." Adams salutes and Picard wobbles off muttering to himself towards his ready room.

Adams looks at me and smiles.

"Good to see you again Commander, for a moment there it looked like we might not."

"Do you know what happened to us?" If Relativity's been observing that entire time I'm going to rampage the shit out of this ship.

"Q." He looks at me, the misplaced smile still remaining on his lips.

"Commander I feel I should tell you how long this has been going on for."

"I thought it was a few weeks?"

"It's about 43 years."

What?

"What?"

"Commander, for the last forty-three years we've been trying to put an end to this, we're not the first crew to try."

Oh Shit.

"Oh Shit."

He starts walking me towards the view screen where I can see other ships orbiting Earth.

Earth.

I can see Earth.  
Right there.  
"Commander, for forty-three years we've been trying to amend the past week, we've been trying to stop a temporal incursion. No matter how many times we try, it always ends the same. No matter how we try to get you to that wormhole home, Q interferes. And every time it leads to a chaos we cannot contain. The repercussions of tangling so many universes together are far greater than Q realises. No matter how it plays out, no matter how many times he promises to send you back to before it happened, it just starts all over again, we try and get you through the wormhole to the Alpha Quadrant and he does it all over again. You've been stuck going through this loop over and over for about 43 years now."

I realise I haven't taken a breath in a while and the notion of what he's just told me and seeing Earth out of the window are making a difficult combination for me to take on as reality.

"This is what you're trying to stop?"

"Not exactly, there's more Commander."

Of course, there's always fucking more.

"The event we're trying to stop is connected. By trying to get you through that wormhole home Commander, we hope to completely negate the temporal event we're avoiding. But Q has made it almost impossible, he's created a paradox within a paradox and it's a situation we cannot completely rectify to what would be deemed satisfactory."

This really was bigger than we all thought.

"If you go through that worm hole Commander, the event doesn't happen, but we just can't get you there, what Q has done has altered that time and space so badly that his loop just keeps on playing out regardless of what we do."

"What happens if the event plays out instead, what happens to that time line?"

"History is changed in a way none of us can control, someone attempts to manipulate the time line and it's ripples reach further than Q's, certain lives play out in a way they are not supposed to, one in particular."

I look at him as it all sinks in, silently pleading for him to say that there's another hidden ending we've just no found yet and he's not about to say -

"Kathryn?"

He nods.

"The effect she will have on the time line if the event plays out is phenomenal. Things that were never supposed to be become reality, families and whole worlds change, people die and people live that shouldn't, other events play out and more from those and more from those, and so on, the chain growing longer and more destructive as it grows from what she does. She will do what she thinks is right, regardless of the outcome. No matter how many times it's been observed, the time line she creates is uncontrollable, there is little we can do to stop it or change the outcome. But for your lives, for you now, there are only two choices, and both lead to their own hell so to speak, one to be avoid at all costs."

Oh don't put this on me, don't make this my decision.

I don't even understand all this.

"The reason this always fails, is because every crew member we've encountered has refused to let the event take place. Every single one of them refused to let what Kathryn does happen, they all chose to keep trying for the wormhole because that destiny seemed to not cost as much as the other. You refused yourself, every time, because you couldn't let what happens to Kathryn come to be. And because of this, Q's loop will always be, we won't let the other timeline happen, neither will any of you, so Q's universe of Voyager is all that is left."

"What happens to her?"

"Time will pass, Voyager will eventually make it home, but most of the crew will not survive, including yourself and your wife Seven."  
Seven?! What in living hell…?

"Admiral Janeway later manipulates the timeline to bring you home much quicker than anticipated, she thinks that she's doing it to save you, save Seven, save Tuvok, save all her crew that died or were scarred by Voyagers late arrival home, she thinks she's giving you back the time you lost, the lives you should have lead. She also thinks she's striking a fatal blow to the Borg for once and all." His eyes darken as he speaks and it fills me with fear.

"In doing so she sets a series of events in play, namely bringing the Borg threat home with her, people that should have been somewhere else, were not there to avoid the fates that did befall them, the Captain herself included. She will die. And so will many others who were not supposed to, _millions_." His emphasis on the last word is heavy and breaks me in a why I didn't think existed.

I can't even begin to process this in any coherent way.

Earth's gentle spin blurs beyond my gaze and the air becomes hot and heavy.

We really are the ship of the doomed.

One way we end up puppets in Q's sick play and fuck up the universe, or I send Kathryn and countless others to their deaths and screw up the universe that way.

"I take it there's not a third option here?"

"None that we've seen so far as yet. Everything always goes the same Commander eventually."

"How do we get off the merry-go-around."

"In order to stop the Admiral from achieving her timeline, we need to get you through the wormhole but that would mean you just go back to Q's universe which makes things just as bad. There seems to be no way of resolving it, we've only spent 43 years on these weeks Commander, the complete total of years spent trying to sort the timelines that this ship seems to generate are almost countless, for a small ship you do get around a bit."

I dread to think.

"The future we are from is heavily shaped by the outcome of events, they are events which need to be avoided, they are events that lead to us eventually even existing just to put this all right, yours is a twisted tale, you'd be surprised how far back and how far forward Voyager's story goes, it order to manipulate events for you not to be and for the events that will shape all existence to be, we'd have to return to the beginning of time, literally."

Well that's enough to make a man feel small and humongous at the same time.

"Are you sending me back in for one more try?" I question.

"The intention was the beginning of time Commander." I wait to see if he's joking but he's not. "There are few options left to consider."

Well we really are well and truly, one hundred percent fucked.

They are literally going to rewrite the beginning of all time to stop Kathryn Janeway, because that's apparently what it takes.

The thought makes me smile.

Kathryn, Q slayer and time bender extraordinaire.

This is why the universe seems to hate us so much, because Kathryn's apparently a big player around these parts.

It seems unbelievable this would be so huge but at the same time it makes sense.

Just because we stop being able to understand the ripples, doesn't mean they stop.  
Consequences, cause and effect.

It's all fucked.

"Let me just get this straight for one moment, I'm frankly struggling with this" He nods at me and I continue "To avoid hell on Earth literally, we need to go through the wormhole" He nods. "But if we do that, every time we're going to end up in Q's universe with the other Voyagers." He nods again. "That's an unstoppable loop," Another nod. "The only way to stop this is to go back to the beginning of time and start again?" A slower nod.

"All of existence cannot balance on you simply unplugging something and plugging it back in and starting again?" A very slow nod. "Wonderful, just making sure I've grasped this."

Hells bells.

Kathryn I could really use you right now.

Everything can't be so definite. It can't be so unwavering.

"All of history leads to now Commander, without Kathryn Janeway the universe is a far more stable place, for one human being she, along with other Starfleet Captains and Officers, have influenced time and the universe far more than any one being should." Adams speaks honestly and I'm thankful for that. He can acknowledge the power that has fallen on people who had no place interfering with the infinite unknown of how we all exist.

The consequences of small decisions have wide ripples and there are so many ripples from so many disruptions that everything becomes a wash of swirling madness. You cannot control time, you cannot control the universe and we have in some way and not usually for the better.

I cannot begin to understand existence, or time and I have no intention on playing God but once again it seems my uniform is asking it of me.  
I don't remember signing up for this.

At no point during training did anyone tell me that the entire existence of all matter and energy rested on my shoulders, at no point did anyone inform me that I would be asked to influence the lives of billions.  
I just wanted to see the universe and expand my curiosity.

Next existence, I'm becoming a postman.

"With or without you Commander, we have to do something, this cannot be for all of time." Adams seems to sense my inner war and tries to offer some sort of get out clause.

Somewhere in my mind, I can sense Kathryn's smile, I can remember how when she's utterly tickled by something, her smile becomes toothy and wide, her eyes joining in with her lips, she always smiled from everywhere.

I don't want a universe without that smile.

"Let me try one more time."

I don't know why I'm saying this, why I think little old me has any chance to save this is beyond me, but my mouth is faster than my brain sometimes and I just have to hold on and hope it doesn't end with a kick in the balls.

"Please."

He looks at me and then glances in the direction of the Ready room before looking back at me with a defiant grin.

"One more try couldn't hurt Commander."


	11. Bend It Chapter Eleven

Disclaimer: Definitely not my characters, definitely not my show, definitely hoping no one sues. Am very poor unless you accept jammy-dodger biscuits, in which case I'm minted. Characters etc belong to people far more powerful than I. Go watch the show, enjoy it, it's awesome.

* * *

As the tingle of the transporter wears off, I realise I'm back in my quarters.

Thoughts of the where the Chakotay of this timeline is, still bother me. I don't understand this business, do they just taken them and shove them somewhere different?

Checking the computer I confirm that I'm where I should be.

Back to the day of the Doctor's lecture.

As painful as it is to have to sit through it for a third time, I'd practically rip off my leg if I thought it would help the situation so I'm prepared to do whatever's necessary.

Adams and I talked for a bit before he beamed me back in time, he spoke more of the timeline that is his history, he spoke more of what happened to us all.

The thought of Seven being my wife is enough to make me think this is all some sort of hormonal dream and I'll wake up sticky at some point, but it seems about right if I think about it.

Seven and I had been spending time together lately, I was helping her with her attempts to become more human as a favour to the Doctor and I wasn't not enjoying our time together.

The way things were between me and Kathryn, the way I know she would pretended what occurred between us never happened, I know she would have pushed me away and I can understand why I'd pick Seven to give up on Kathryn with.

Because it would hurt her the most. I'm that kind of asshole.

But apparently it's my future, it's inevitable.

And there's nothing I can do about my own damn life.

* * *

Well I'm back in the lecture and all I can think about is the end of the universe and Borg tits, neither excite me.

What's the fucking point of this journey, if its going to be this fucked up, I might as well take phaser to my head now. What is the point really?  
Maybe if I die now, before I find out what Borg breasts actually look like, it might change things.

That's something to consider.

But I want to live.

I look at Kathryn who's yawning and elbowing Ayala in the side to wake him up a bit and I stifle a laugh.

I really want to live.

In a universe that doesn't want me to.

I could kill Kathryn? Stop her before she has the chance to mess with the timeline?

I couldn't do it, maybe I could put her into a coma that she never wakes up from.

Yeah, sedatives. A ton of sedatives.

No, that's ridiculous.

I'll have to kill her, it's the only way.

Godsdammit man, the best you can come up with is to either sedate or kill her? She's not some sort of comical villain, think think think…

Honestly, I think they are the only ways to pull it off, she wouldn't stop for the Gods themselves, how can I get one over on Kathryn Janeway?

I'm screwed.

So screwed.

Kathryn yawns again and looks back at me, smiles softly and returns her attention back to the Doctor.

Oh fuck this, I'm not dooming Kathryn and us all to hell.

The universe can take Q's loop of madness and it can take their Borg invasion and shove it straight up it's ass.

Kathryn's eyeing up the replicator, she's arguing with herself about getting the coffee I know she gets.

I cannot keep letting this go on, but I refuse to take what the universe is offering. I'm taking option three. Which I'm now inventing. And I have no idea what I'm going to do but I'm going to do something!

My future is not about to be spent with either Q or Seven.

Because Kathryn loves coffee.

" _I_ _'_ _d start with the coffee Commander._ _"_

And I love Kathryn.

" _I_ _'_ _d start with the coffee Commander._ _"_

You glorious bastard Adams.

This is option three universe, this is free will.

Kathryn's rising to go and get her coffee, tossing her death glare at the Doctor on the way.

Today universe, is where I, Chakotay, crasher of shuttles and boxing extraordinaire, am taking back what you're trying to steal from me.

Kathryn's got the coffee and is starting back towards her seat.

Please forgive me Kathryn.

And with that I stick out my left leg and trip her on purpose.

The coffee is airborne and Kathryn is tumbling ass over head onto the floor.

And I'm scrambling out of my seat with apologies spilling forth.

"Captain, I'm so sorry!"

She's looking at me furious from the floor. The coffee thankfully has missed most of her but at the same time I can see a patch of skin beginning to redden on her wrist.

"I'm fine, sadly the coffee isn't." She looks glumly at the remains of the coffee across the deck.

"Here let me take you to sick bay." I offer a hand which she quickly takes.

The Doctor has scuttled over looking worried and pissed off that his lecture has been interrupted by me being a big oaf again.

"Captain, let me escort you, you'll need a dermal regenerator."

Kathryn's eyes suddenly look mischievous.

"No Doctor, really I'm fine, I wouldn't want to keep these folks from your wonderful lecture, you carry on and I'm sure Chakotay can manage to use the dermal regenerator."

"I'll give it my best." I nod. She is clever my Kathryn, never one to pass up an opportunity and she worked this one out quicker than most, she really didn't want to be in this lecture and I knew she'd take the opportunity to flee if given, so I gave her one. Obviously giving her third degree burns isn't the best of ideas but I was thinking on the fly.

I start to escort her to the doors and the second we're away from ear-shot she looks at me thunderously.

"As much as I appreciate a way out of that nightmare in there Commander, surely there were friendly ways that didn't involve loss of coffee."

A smile escapes as she playfully bats my arms and I smile right back.

"Sorry, my legs got away from me there."  
We're walking towards the turbo lift and Kathryn has a bit of swing in her step, not what I was expecting after she'd been so tired and after the Kathryn I've been with the last few days, it's nice to see her without a whiskey glass in her hand.

"I noticed, you do tend to spread out when you're getting comfortable." She's playing with me.

"Speak for yourself." And I'm playing back.

We get in the turbo-lift and I reach for her wrist.

The burn looks no bigger than a finger print, but the redness is livid compared to her pale skin and I feel instantly guilty.

Not as guilty for knowing as much as I do about her future.

"Don't worry, it doesn't hurt." She reassures me, reclaiming her wrist and dropping it to her side.

"I'm sorry all the same."

She smiles and the turbo lift opens and we stride into the sick bay together.

Kathryn grabs a dermal regenerator and holds her wrist out to me.

"A couple of minutes should do it." She says handing me the regenerator.

I start it up and begin circling it gently around her wrist.

"I think I should ban the Doctor's lectures, or at least have him prescribe them as a sleeping aid, that was just God awful." She shakes her head as she speaks and I smile.

"Kathryn, I need to tell you something." I don't look at her, keeping my concentration on her wrist which is already starting to fade back to a paler skin tone.

"Oh God, if it's includes the word temporal, you can shove it."

As far as Kathryn remembers, she was trying to help Relativity at one point from something occurring in the timeline, I don't think she knew it was ultimately herself she was trying to prevent from causing havoc, but she has spent the last few weeks carrying out missions for Relativity, cleaning up messes of other Temporal incursions from the crews and my inability to make a decision that changed things for the better. This Kathryn should not know of anything that just happened with Q.

"It might do." I admit and she groans.

"Kathryn, do you think there's such a thing as fate?"

"Fate? Really Chakotay, it's that kind of temporal issue?"

"Humour me." I pout slightly and she scratches at her head with her spare hand.

"Fate? I'd like to think we have something to do with our own lives." She looks at me thoughtfully. " The thing is, nothing shocks me anymore with what we've experienced so there could be but I'd like to think that it's more about the journey than the destination, despite our entire lives being about a destination on Voyager." She smiles crookedly. "I think being focused on one goal makes you miss the bigger picture, I know that's where I went wrong anyway, you become too focused on what you don't have rather than what you do, it's easy to miss having a life like that. It we're continually working towards one thing, one immovable thing, then what's the point?"

"What is the point?"

"To live, and use what time you do have living." The crooked smile grows wider and so does mine.

"Wise words." I say, lost for real words.

"Chakotay, whatever they've asked you to do or whatever you know, anything is possible, that's the real point, things happen and things change, the storm we see on the horizon can shift with unseen wind Chakotay, set your sails and hang on in the meantime."

"You're certainly philosophical this evening."

"It's the lack of sleep, it does just awful things to my thought process." She smiles.

"Tell me about it, I think it's when your mind knows for sure you're in the weakest state because it knows you can't argue and then it picks that moment to start making you think of the all the things you shouldn't think about, it just seems to do what it likes." At least my mind does.

"I can't say my mind is an independent state able to do as it pleases but I've certainly felt uncontrollable more than once in my life, like it didn't matter how hard I try to think about something else, I always get dragged back to the places I don't want to visit." Admits Kathryn, I knew she suffered and struggled in her place in this universe, but to know her head tortures her as much as mine does little to comfort me.

"Oh I know that feeling all too well."

If she only knew what she did to my thought process.

"I think that's good for now." She nods her head towards the regenerator and flexes her wrist, rubbing at it before moving it to her hip and looking at me in her usual no-nonsense stance.

"What's on your mind Chakotay?"

"I've been asked to do the impossible and I don't know what to do, but I can't give up on hope."

"Hope for what or should I not ask?" She looks at me with curiosity and concern.

"Hope for something better, for something more than what the universe keeps giving us."

"Well that's something you should never give up on Chakotay, sometimes you just have to wait for the stars to line up just right and bam-" She gently nudges my shoulder playfully

"-the universe smiles on you and it was all worth it."

I can't seem to form any words and the concern of Kathryn's face grows.

"What is it, really, Chakotay?"

I smile weakly and look at my feet.

Where do I begin with all this?

How do I even start to tell her she'll break the universe into a million pieces.

"The damned Prime Directive and how it's always standing in the way." I lift my eyes finally to look at her and her eyes meet mine with oceans of blue I would drown so happily in.

"The thing about the Prime Directive Chakotay? Think of it as working for you than the other way around, it makes it easier."

"Not always, not where we're concerned anyway." DUDE! What you doing?! Not now. Universe to save and all that, remember? Calm down the freaking hormones man.

"Well, no, but I'm trying to make you feel better so I'm talking out of my ass."  
I laugh at her words and so does she.

"Whatever this is, I'm here Chakotay and we've got a lot of time on our hands out here in the Delta Quadrant, so take it nice and easy, slow and steady and all things will be as they should." She lifts her arms and drapes it across my shoulders and pats me gently on the shoulder.

"In that case Kathryn, two things; one, we need to head in the complete opposite direction and head around this space for a bit of a scenic view rather than be an active participant -.." she nods "..-And secondly, would you care to join me for dinner tomorrow evening?"

"Of course Chakotay, as long as I don't have to provide the food" She laughs and once again so do I.

"I wouldn't dream of it, I still haven't finished building up my immune system against poisons yet, give me time and we'll try one of your recipes again." She nudges me gently again, she always gets handsy damn woman.

"Chakotay, I know you're waiting but so am I." She looks at me sadly for a moment and it came so out of nowhere I wasn't expecting it, or the look she's giving me right now.

"It's just as hard for me, if not harder, but I'm still waiting for you and I always will be until the time is right, it could be tomorrow, next year, next decade, who knows? But it will come."

And so will you if you give me a chan-

Oh Gods.

Stop it man, you have no shame.

Say something man, she's waiting for you…

"I'm a patient man Ms Janeway, but try and hurry up before a decade gets involved, I don't think my hips will be able to cope with what I want to do to you." It wasn't the first reply I had thought of but it did the intended. No more trying to decide if this is something or not, I know it's something. And so I'm going to make sure she knows without doubt, my feelings for her.

She looks momentarily shocked, it was a bit of bold statement to make, but a wicked glint appears in her eyes and she gestures towards the doors with her head.

"Well move it Mister, before I make it a few decades."

"Aye Captain."

With that we leave sickbay and I consider the ripples that are brewing from this moment.

* * *

It's been six weeks since that day.

I'm thankful to report that we have not seen ourselves since and we've entered a new region of space where there's some minor Borg activity and a few M-Class planets but nothing out of the ordinary.

I couldn't be happier.

I'm not sure what future we're heading it to, whether I have been able to change our fate or more importantly Kathryn's, but I haven't been kidnapped by Relativity since and that fills me with hope.

Knowing the choices everyone made before I made this last choice, I can't say I blame them.

They were unable to break the loops they were in because they could see no other futures than the ones offered to them.

The timeline spawned by Kathryn was unimaginable and I still don't know if it's going to come to pass or not, but Adams had explained to me that every timeline that ran from the moment Voyager carried on without trying to go through the wormhole and Q's funhouse, spawned the exact same thing each time.

Because I resigned myself to my fate a million times over, settling for Seven instead of trying for a future for Kathryn, it was so unimaginable to me that Kathryn would allow us to be together that no other Chakotay tried it, no Chakotay was able to try to make the one difference it all hung on really.

Because if I was not married to Seven out of bitterness, my wife would not die in my arms and my bitterness wouldn't grow towards a Kathryn I blame for the pain that would fall at my feet, Kathryn would not then try and manipulate the time line for me and start what leads to her death and destruction of all who came into contact with her in her Borg form.

Because if I was instead with the woman I loved, the woman who makes me more alive than anything in existence, none of it would happen at all.

Instead, maybe a relationship could really grow and flower into something more and all the ripples that are sent out across the oceans of our lives take a new path. Everything from a conversation, to picking the crew for a mission, to the direction we head in, to the way we experience this journey, it all changes, all of it.  
And a completely new and fresh life unfolds.

It is this that I am pondering on as I hear a snap in my Quarters.

I had been laying in bed, thinking about life and all the jazz that has been our lives lately but I know Q's out there waiting.

Making my way to my living area, I see he's made himself at home as usual, he's lying across my couch, reading a padd.

"Hello Chuckles, I hope I didn't wake you." He doesn't look at me but continues to thumb at the padd before flinging it carelessly across the room.

"Does your wife know you're out and about?"

"As it happens, no she doesn't, but I'm not hanging around, thought I'd pop by and say a real goodbye." He stands and approaches me.

"It would seem as though you outsmarted me Commander, I see I underestimated you also."

"It doesn't take much to outsmart you Q."

"Well yes, you prove that, but you really surprised me on this one, bit of genius thinking on your behalf if I do say so, who knew the universe rested entirely on a cup of coffee."

"I think the lesson you should learn here Q is to stay away from Kathryn Janeway, she's too much for you to handle and you've surely got better things to be doing with yourself that don't involve stalking Starfleet Captains."

"It was more than that Commander, I may not have been entirely honest with my reasons."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"Commander, a father will do anything for his child, regardless the risk."

I wasn't expecting that and I'm not too sure what he's hinting at here, something to do with Q Junior?

"Sometimes even Qs are powerless to the forces of the universe, especially when it comes to Kathryn Janeway, but hopefully you've achieved what I didn't think was possible and my worry is no longer necessary." He looks somewhat bothered and I can't help but feel that knowing Q and his infinite powers, he knows the new timeline forward and back and he was trying to avoid Kathryn's Borg one in particular by keeping us trapped. I can't help but want to know more but I don't have the energy to deal with him or the universe anymore. "I do love Kathy though, in another time and place we would have made a good team, we could have made beautiful things together."

"Q.." I say impatiently, I just want him gone now.

"Don't worry Commander I'm leaving, tell Kathy I said goodbye won't you? You look like you're spending a lot of time together lately."

"Goodbye Q." I not so gently hint.

"Goodbye Commander, Godspeed on your journey home, it's not much longer till you'll see that big marble of a planet again." He smiles, well at least I know now we get home.

"OH! Which reminds me, I left something here on one of my visits…"

"Your dignity perhaps?" I've been on fire with these comebacks lately.

He looks around my Quarters like a bloodhound, before coming to stop at my desk.

"Aha, there they are, I've been looking for these." He picks up the marbles I found in Kathryn's Ready room when this madness started, I had intended on giving them to Naomi but with recent events had not gotten around to it.

"Marbles, Q?"

"Well they're more energy, stars, planets, matter… They're universes Commander, I do hope you haven't been shaking them… call them back ups in case Relativity actually tried to erase all of Earth's history, we couldn't have a universe with no Kathy in it Commander, could we?" He goes to snap his fingers but I need to know something before he goes, I can't let him leave without knowing, it will haunt me until my dying day.

"Before you go Q, can you tell me something?"

"Fire away Chuckles." I'm not going to miss that nickname.

"What was it that Neelix did?"

"Oh the dragon thing? Entirely my fault once again Commander, I wanted to find out what happens when you put a tribble and the bar rodent in a shuttle going at warp ten, even I did not see that one coming!" He smiles, winks and snaps himself gone.

That, hopefully, was the last time we should ever see Q.

Spirits help any universe unfortunate enough to encounter him again.

I let out a deep sigh, pick up the padd Q had thrown, place it on my desk and return to the bedroom.

After all that has happened lately, I'm exhausted; I could sleep for months and never feel rested enough.

Slipping back into bed quietly, I realise that I saved the universe.  
And the next time I wish for something stupid, I'm going to remember this or as much of it as I am able, and never wish for something I don't have again.

Everything I experienced is starting to fade somewhat, the timelines I know of are losing their detail and become foggy, as though they're melting and evaporating into nothingness. The last few days it's been hard to remember some of what went on and I'm thankful for that, I don't want to be haunted by a future that never happened and lose the future that I want.

Rolling into the bed, I pull a sleeping Kathryn close to me and wrap my arms around her.

This is the future.

* * *

Thank you for reading if you made it this far. I appreciate each and every one of you. Peace and Love x


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